Lesson 213: All things are lessons God would have me learn.
“A lesson is a miracle which God offers to me, in place of thoughts I made that hurt me…”
Text 5.IV and V:
- …hold nothing against him (your brother), or you hold it against yourself…
SF's reflection: This is very valuable to remember when I want to resent my former boss or anyone that has a job.
- I (Jesus) place the peace of God in your heart and in your hands, to hold and share. The heart is pure to hold it…My (Jesus’) judgment is as strong as the wisdom of God, in Whose Heart and Hands we have our being…The Thoughts of God are with you.
SF’s reflection: This is very valuable because I need to remember my holiness and the presence of God. I am not alone or uncared for or unloved.
- The ego’s purpose is fear…
SF’s reflection: I need this information when I am afraid. Feeling fear means I have forgotten God and am listening to my ego berate me and hurt me. I don’t need to be beaten down.
- The ego is the symbol of the separation…the symbol of guilt…a fearful thought…
SF’s reflection: Feeling the ego’s fear and accusations of what a bad person I am, I remember that none of it is true. There can be no separation from God; that is insane. I need Jesus’ help to return to my right mind, but the opportunity is there.
- Whatever you accept into your mind has reality for you…you must learn to think with God.
SF’s reflection: When I think there are no jobs and that nothing good will ever happen to me, it is because I chose to believe the yammering of the ego world. I am not thinking with God and it is time to choose again.
- The ego believes that by punishing itself it will mitigate the punishment of God.
SF’s reflection: The ego came into being as a thought that wanted to be separate from God and therefore individual. The ego also feels guilty for fabricating this dream of individual existence apart from God. The ego part of me believes that losing my job is a punishment I’ve accepted in order to avoid God’s punishment. I’ll never see the free gifts of enlightenment and well being offered during this time as long as I believe the ego.
SF’s reflection: We are not separate from God, but are dreaming that we are. The ego makes the dream in order for it to have existence separate from God. The ego feels guilty for stealing its existence from God and its thought system proceeds from this guilt. The world is my projection of the guilt I feel. Oh man, it is so easy for me to think my job loss and the economic downturn are self punishment for guilt. But really, they are for learning that God loves me and “Something” cares for me. I am always safe in IT’s hands. It is easy to say, “Jesus loves me;” but to mean it, to really know it, that is different. It is easy to talk about how meaningless money and material stuff is as long as you can pay for yours; but to live the journey of letting go and finding the Higher Thing, that is something different. I am given the gift of finding the Higher Thing. I bow before it. It is actually the holiness of everyone in the world, the Sonship. We were all created by God, though not physically, but God is present in each and it is this I bow before.
If I am learning anything from being unemployed, it is: God loves me and will help me. I cannot lose hope in God. There is a storefront for me. I am not limited. I cannot keep assuming that only bad things are going to happen. I have to remember I’ve always been cared for in the past.
110 days to Heartland Prairie
Results for first week of ultra-retreat:
- Miles at jog/walk speed in the morning = 88
- Miles walking in the afternoon = 25
Today, I did exactly the same route as Friday, only 15 minutes faster; without pushing anything.
Daily schedule for week two (hot weather):
4 to 6 Study ACIM, make juice
6 to 9:30 Weights and jog/walk
9:30 to 10 Shower
10 to 1 eat, take care of business, write
1 to 2 Silent meditation
2 to 3 Chores
3 to 5 Walk
5 to 8 eat, write, study
No, I don't know where I am going or what good this exactly is. But I have concluded that I will have help from a bigger mind than mine. I am always cared for and I am right now. I have no limits on what it is I'll be doing in the future. But, I need to give that bigger mind a chance to correct a few flaws in my thinking before I move on.