Saturday, June 27, 2009

Day 13 - Something

I really really really want Something. I experienced that deep desire today and cried over it. I'm sure it is God (that sounds so hokey); but the desire is more easily understood if I call it Home. Home = God. I am running Home. Self transcendence leads to Home; or why bother?

And then I sit aghast and in silence; surrounded by that loving Presence which I call Jesus or Christ or Holy Spirit or Self. And I do not think but allow myself to be drowned or dissolved or permeated such that just the One remains as pure existence, being without measure, incomparable light.

I choke at the Call. I sob at the Gift. Gratitude doesn't come within a quantum of expressing Our Union. Is the Union a thing I feel? No. It is a thing I know. Do not mistake it for bliss or ecstasy. It is the result of sweat, horseflies, endless miles of hills in a sunny swelter (Mark Z., this is why you love the heat). It is the result of silence and one pointed thinking of the one Fact: I am God's Child. I am God's Creation. God is my Authority and the Author of my life.

I know in silent contemplation. I know in the footfalls on a cinder path. I know in the meager bowl of lentils and rice which is my reward.

Tomorrow I will run again!


1 comment:

Mark said...

I lik the vision of this post.