I am fasting and praying; wanting to know God better. I was up at 4:30 for my spiritual study and prayer; realizing how little I know of love or incapable I am of seeing everyone as God's gift. I'm not running today because of my sore foot, so I planned to ride the exercise bike on my back porch. I timed this so I would be riding at 6:30 when "Humankind" came on NPR. This is usually an inspirational show.
Today, I was quite treated by an interview with the late Mattie Stepanek and his mother. Mattie and his mother both had muscular dystrophy. Mattie wrote a best selling book of poems when he was four. His philosophy was so simple but mature. Below is one of his poems. His mother had a philosophy about how everything is a choice. She doesn't want to get out of bed and deal with difficulties everyday. But she does. I am a person who is depressed frequently, but I've decided to be alive and get out of bed and go do whatever is in front of me. I felt God disclosing Himself to me through these two incredible people. Mattie's poem, below, really touches my deepest yearning for God and explains exactly how to fulfill the yearning.
I do sit in silence frequently and do receive this gift every now and then. I don't feel as hopeless today about myself. I feel like I am making progress in inner peace.
Enjoy the poem and Happy fasting today!
I have a song, deep in my heart,
And only I can hear it.
If I close my eyes and sit very still
It is so easy to listen to my song.
When my eyes are open
and I am so busy and moving and busy,
If I take time and listen very hard,
I can still hear my Heartsong.
It makes me feel happy.
Happier than ever.
Happier than everywhere
And everything and everyone
In the whole wide world
Happy like thinking about Going to Heaven when I die.
My Heartsong sounds like this:
I love you! I love you!
How happy you can be!
How happy you can make
The whole world be!
And sometimes it's other
Tunes and words, too,
But it always sings the
Same special feeling to me.
It makes me think of
Jamie, and Katie and Stevie,
And other wonderful things.
This is my special song.
But do you know what?
All people have a special song
Inside their hearts!
Everyone in the show wide world
Has a special Heartsong.
If you believe in magical, musical hearts,
And if you believe you can be happy,
Then you, too, will hear your song.
March 1996 © Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek