Behold

Behold is a word I rediscovered in my current spiritual reading ("Silence-a user's guide" by Maggie Ross).

Look! Stand is awe! Wordless. In your meditation, don't try for enlightenment but for beholding that which is silent and vast and non-physical. Quiet the mind for the purpose of beholding.

Jesus said,"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me" (Revelations,3:30, English Standard Version).

Has there ever been a more metaphysical saying? That great presence which you seek is standing at the door of your consciousness. Quiet the self-conscious mind and behold with a deeper awareness, a clarity, a now consciousness which has no words.

Behold, the bird in the tree. Behold, the tree. Behold air. Behold the sun. Behold, water. Behold, cells in your body. Behold, food. Behold, consciousness. Behold, earth. Behold, love. Behold joy. Behold, thought. Behold, gifts. Behold, compassion. Behold, altruism. Behold, help is here. Behold, I go before you always. Behold, seek and you shall find. Behold, mercy. Behold, these things shall be added unto you. Behold well-being. Behold abundance. Behold, I am with you always.

Be still and know that I am God.

Behold. I saw but I have no words for it. I couldn't grasp it. But it was and is. Behold.

The place of beholding is called liminality, the threshold. Behold is to see beyond. This place can be found somehow. And then sit at the threshold and you will know everything. Behold is a verb. Behold is a command. Self forgetfulness is beholding. Beholding is not an experience, because you were transfixed in thoughtless awareness when it happened, but ever transfigured afterward. Transfigured meaning software and cell biology updated.

You live in a new word. Behold!

Beginner

Isolation can change you. If you are intentional, the outcome is different than if not. By "not," I mean, merely being busy, just using up time. I have been using up time in some ways. Yes, indeed.

But also, my mornings start with spiritual reading. At the moment I am reading "Silence: A User's Guide" by Maggie Ross. I have had the book a long time and did read it years ago. Reading it again, i am in a new place and realizing new things.

This morning I read some astonishing information about meditation, as well as information about the self-conscious mind versus the deep mind. About meditation, she mentions that life transfiguring meditation is not about 15 minutes a day but a whole life of transfigured perception. You are not trying to get anything out of meditation but discovering your own unique unfolding truth. Letting go of ideas of myself which came from the outside and waiting in complete openness for the emergence of the deep mind.

Quotation: "Many teachers limit themselves to various techniques of meditation--in effect making meditation in itself something of a panacea, a goal, even an idol, and therefore a dead end. The primary reason for this limitation is that both teachers and students are unwilling to pay the price, which is not monetary. They are unwilling to let go of their ideas of themselves; unwilling to let go of a sense of belonging to a special in-group; unwilling to wait in the dark in complete willingness; unwilling to turn away from noise and static in their minds whenever they notice it in order to reach into the dark; unwilling to seek solitude and silence; unwilling to radically simplify their lives in order to sustain the context in which the riches of the deep mind may emerge. Willingness to change one's life is not the condition of entry in to the silence; rather, once entered, the silence itself elicits such changes. It is the same with so-called asceticism: it is not the condition of entry, but rather the condition for sustaining the process; it arises organically."

So, my own thinking this morning. Not in a hundred years or more has so much of humanity been forced into isolation. In my isolation without TV and very little news, I have more silence than ever and less outside influence than ever. My life of "stay at home" is necessarily simple. I am with me. I can now see my idols. I can become without idols and let the deep mind speak to me. My whole life has become really nothing. I am forced to admit that my life is a human life with value from the deep mind; or my life is nothing. What is my intention for meditating or spirituality at all?

I am at a kind of bottom. My self-conscious mind is at the moment without possessions. I have nothing to show for me. I am nothing to the world at the moment. Only my inner being can have meaning. I can only listen.

Self Transcendence 21/52

Three weeks into this retreat. I can't say that some big burden like fasting is added to my life during this time. Mostly I look at the race statistics and videos and blogs; then think about what does self transcendence mean to me today.

What race? This one: 3100 Mile race

I had alot of excitement during the last 21 days what with a big work event, then going to a triple marathon last weekend. This weekend, I am quietly at home. I got up at 4:30 this morning and got in almost 10 miles of jogging before hanging it up. Already the real feel was 102F.

Right now, I am leaving space for God in my life; for somehow making a spiritual connection. I need a vital spiritual experience. But I also need a nap.

At least I did the weed eating already and groceries have been bought.

Peace permeates my soul. It turns out that spirituality is not some huge emotional trip. It is silence. It is miles. I got no answers to anything. Let the balls fall down.

The Balance Sheet

Freedom from bondage. Bondage of ego that is.

Downward mobility. As detailed by Henri Nouwen in The Selfless Way of Christ. How does a high paid engineer follow Christ really? I am and can continue to let go of power, prestige and infamy. I do my job and try to help others.

I did something nice for some colleagues this week. They did not reciprocate. My ego noticed this and started in on a mental tear. I realize I am hopeless in the area of doing something without selfishness. Every time I do something good, my ego whips out the balance sheet to see if I profited.

Self centered in the extreme. Driven by a hundred forms of fear. Each day is a new beginning and I seem to arrive at each morning sober. I have a daily reprieve.

Last evening, I listened to a sober lady tell her story. She has 41 years of sobriety. In a few short months. I'll have 30 years. Sobriety in AA, conscious contact with a power greater than myself, is the best thing. A sober life is an amazing thing.

I am at an odd place in life. Or at least different for me. My outer world is stable. It is a chore to go to work each day, but overall, I have a very nice job and I like it. Everything is paid for. On days when I maintain my humility, I can be happy.

So this gives me time and space to continue to probe spirituality; to wonder about self transcendence.

Laps.

It is now hot on the Gulf Coast. Today I did my laps under the trees. I thought about how I started ultra running and doing laps because of the Sri Chinmoy 3,100 mile Self Transcendence race. I thought about my short monastic life. I thought about the vehemence of my first ten post-monastery years. I was not able to pray today. No mantra was transfixed in my mind. But eventually, yes I did pray. I thought a question mark into the universe.

No answer came. But the trail was mostly in a forest. It clouded up a bit towards 2 pm. I felt good. Jog walk jog walk jog walk..... think..... muse about the past. Trying to put the pieces together.

A monastic contemplative goes into the silence. Can I reach silence and still go to work 5 days  week? I have to.

Laps are utterly meaningless; except for the silence.

Lesson 254

"Lesson 254: Let every voice but God’s be still in me.
1 Father, today I would but hear Your Voice. In deepest silence I would come to You, to hear Your Voice and to receive Your Word. I have no prayer but this: I come to You to ask You for the truth. And truth is but Your Will, which I would share with You today.

2 Today we let no ego thoughts direct our words or actions. When such thoughts occur, we quietly step back and look at them, and then we let them go. We do not want what they would bring with them. And so we do not choose to keep them. They are silent now. And in the stillness, hallowed by His Love, God speaks to us and tells us of our will, as we have chosen to remember Him."

It is Friday afternoon. I am drinking coffee. It is quiet here in my house. No "entertainment." My head is not raging at me. I don't think I want to go anywhere. And for some reason, I've not quite put the energy together to do any workout. Maybe after some more quiet time, I'll feel like walking.

I have been reviewing my journal for the past year. And also thinking about some successes for the coming year. There are some obvious themes which characterize my thinking. The themes should be obvious but until I looked back and saw it written every day, I didn't exactly know how frequently I thought that. A Course in Miracles would just say "These thoughts do not mean anything."

My life doesn't have any big problems. So my spirituality is not about trauma. I'm discovering a spirituality of quiet all on my own. Of course, I've read books on silence etc. Now I've got quiet in all of my own life (not just when meditating) and my ego doesn't have any big deals to yell at me about. I realize that creating another project to occupy me is exactly what my ego would want. But to sit here quietly and not start anything; that is the challenge.

When you study scripture's origin and the community from which Jesus probably came and scrutinize Paul's Christianity, you are left with nothing true about today's Christianity. You stop trying to prove anything by quoting scripture because you know it is wrong. Eventually, you observe the void, feel the null. No emotion is left.

It is 2014 and the internet is everything. So the monastic order in which I was formed has a face book page and tweets and videos. I look at the pictures frequently and know the people in them. I may not be there physically but the sisters are in my mind everyday. What does this mean? Is it good or bad? They are doing something new. The Roman Church is have a "year of consecrated life." I have qualms about that. But because of it, the sisters started wearing traditional habits on Sundays. It is yet one more example of why I don't belong there. I go running on Sundays, not sit around in my habit.

I can completely write volumes about my universal non-special concept of God. I've lost my vehemence to do so.

So back to silence. Listening to the quiet Voice for God and doing nothing.

For the Record

Whenever I have days off from work, I also have the idea that somewhere in the silence and miles, a spiritual break through will occur.

Something at least note worthy did happen this morning. A few weeks ago, I read Sam Harris' book "Waking Up." It annoyed me when he has long explanations about "...this self is nowhere to be found..." or "...the self does not survive scrutiny...the feeling of being a thinker of thoughts inside one's head..." or "...look closely for what you are calling "I", and the feeling of being a separate self will disappear..."

I finally realized my confusion this morning. What Mr Harris calls "I" is what A Course in Miracles calls ego. What Mr Harris finds beyond the "I" is what A Course in Miracle calls Self.

I need to stop beating myself up with other people's techniques and experiences. Because, yes in fact, I am able to look between the thoughts. The fact that there is no emotion or objective sense of enlightenment is what makes it real. The problem is that the stream of thoughts called ego doesn't approve and can't use the silence. My ego most emphatically wants an objective and be able to lay a claim, "I did this," or "I am that." A Course in Miracles explains all this. I now understand that Mr Harris is saying the same but in words from his experience.

I realize that my frustration is an ego function. The Self between the thoughts never cared about this. It was my ego who read other's experiences of enlightenment and judged itself less than for not having had such a wonderful experience. My ego says that God doesn't love me because I can't point to some fabulously engaging emotional experience called enlightenment. I have endless difficulties with this ego; but any moment of silence produces calm. Living from the calm is what ACIM teaches.

Is my intuition my Self speaking? Is there a Spirit which is not Self? Personally, I believe that if there is a Self, then there is a Creator. ACIM gives the Spirit as a communication medium. Obviously, many books are written on this subject. What matters to me is intuitive thoughts.

For any who thought I missed Thanksgiving Day 7, I'll just mention that I had a nice jog outside in the park. I went to an AA meeting. I had another nice workout indoors which included strength training. Today, I will do an indoor workout. My feet and legs feel good, but I also feel like keeping them that way. Cross training, development of durability, will be most important for the next 7 months; or indeed for the next 30 years.

For any who wondered about what I said regarding philosophy studies and writing essays. The "teacher" replied that he got tired of grading student essays and has stopped doing it. So it won't be learning to write essays that sharpens my thinking. Maybe that was never necessary since it was really the unproductive Silence that I need more.

Easter Multi-day 2014

This was a great weekend for doing miles here in Seabrook. So, that is what I did. An experiment of time and distance; except, I knew I wasn't in the mood for more than 5 hours on any given day. I wanted to sleep in also.

Friday I did 4.5 hours and 18.5 miles. Plus a 40 min strength workout.
Saturday I did 4h26min and 19.2 miles.
Sunday I did 4h01min and 17.1 miles. Plus I'll probably do some strength this evening while I listen to the TED radio hour.

My foot did really well. Yeah, that foot which had surgery in September 2013.

What amazed me is that I am not all torn up that I'm not celebrating Easter. I was practicing my Course in Miracles lessons. I did feel connected to my higher power. But I cannot for the life of me remember what was so important about Easter. This shocks me. I spent so many years as a Roman Catholic and also in a Benedictine monastery.

The God I worship doesn't seem to need special liturgy. If God is love, then there is nothing more to be done.

Voluntary poverty is to dismiss ego possessions; live with no kudos, no approval, no dopamine rewards, no special liturgy. Just be nice and pay your taxes.

Voluntary simplicity is to possess nothing. No honor, no rewards, no legacy, no other people. Just walk in silence.

If all you have is silence, you have made a good start on walking with God. My adult life is characterized by the quest for inner silence and God consciousness. This yields nothing in this world. It is about as silly as doing miles every day on a boring path in Seabrook, Texas.

Tomorrow begins another work week. But I am going to be a little slacker on the miles this week. I'm going in a real race next Saturday.

Adoration

Sitting in silence yields nothing. The ego gets no rewards. The ego cannot steal any inspiration. No dopamine reward cycle. This is the hard part of solitude and silence: it is not an emotional reward. There is no drama. Nothing to say.

But as I type, I realize I am in adoration of the Great Silent Altar within. I'm not sure if I have felt such adoration before. I feel the power.

No specialness. That is what is at this altar. Silence offers no specialness. Anyone willing to leave their specialness behind can come and adore.

Societal programming is about teaching children to seek specialness. Religions are about specialness. Religious professions, ordination, sacraments are all specialness. The requirement of a guru is specialness.

What if you could just come and adore? No sacrifices required of you or anyone else. What if Jesus was not the epitome of specialness but just a man in total adoration.

Anyone at any time can be in total adoration. It is very quiet in total adoration.

This is the purpose of the Lenten desert. Adoration.

I like A Course in Miracles because it is open to all. We all have access to The Teacher.

I have had one of my best running weekends in years. 17 miles of jogging on Saturday and 11 miles of sprint/ walk today. It is true that I had some big mileage last year, but none so well carried out. Today's big miracle, beside doing miles the day after a big long run was that the Nimbus 15s are back to feeling good.

My heel is 4.5 months after 6 weeks of non-weight bearing. Slowly, annoying random pains are going away. My arch doesn't feel like the inside of a shoe bears a sharp knife edge pointing up. The forward heel spur is manageable. The scar doesn't have so many random sharp pains.

Flying Again

How's the running coming?

Awesome!

Today's miles were mostly covered at about 12:30 pace for 12.4 miles. Yesterday I got 10.1 miles done at a slightly slower pace. Next Saturday, I'm going in a half marathon race.

I am fit. It is 3 months and one week since I got my boot off and started walking again. Lord, that first week, walking was horrible. And for a long time, even sometimes now, shoes drive me crazy at work. But running usually goes good since I am moving. At work, I sit and fluids go down. I even started wearing compression socks at work.

While I was running today, I was thinking about interior silence. I watched my thoughts and emotions as I yelled at little kids on bicycles who weren't watching where they were going. I remembered to return to the day's spiritual lesson. then I looked out on the bay and saw a kayak sitting quietly shrouded in fog. I realized that it is not enough to repeat the lesson; an image that projects the emotion of peace is needed. So now, besides thinking thoughts of inner peace, I also put an emotionally connected image of peace (the kayak in the fog). then, I don't have to yell at small children. I just see them. There cocktail party in my head, which is all most of us think is our life, can end in peace. In peace, I enter "The Silent Land" (Martin Laird) where I hear God.

Remember the phrase "Get a life"? I got silence. God is all I ever wanted.

Un-measure

This is THE concept which causes friction in my ego. I don't-go-along with society. Unmeasure is the disorder we have in the world. I have for years turned away from Unmeasure. Overeating. Violence. Consumerism. Disease. Unconsciousness.

Sit physically still in silence.
Nothing comes.
That.Is. All.

Grow still.
Do not get caught up.
Refrain.

Block the outlets
with a Word.
Recollect Essence.

_____________________________________________________

Here is my testimony, my essence.

Silencio

This weekend is my first 9/80 Friday off. I was going to zip off across Texas and go in a race or two. But that plan got foiled. Also, my boss called a meeting. He is letting me attend online, but I decided not to push the issue any further than that.

This has caused me to re-evaluate my weekend plans. Maybe it will be full of silent miles. I somewhat love El Lago in a misty warm pre-dawn morning. I'll also go to Meador park. The weather will be beautiful. Mostly, the Seabrook trail looks like this:

I made my decision in silence. I asked with a thought what I should do. Soon, I heard Silencio.

It think it is right. Since "Boston" people at work (the only ones I see), have asked me about Boston. Today I explained in a more intimate conversation with one guy that I am just a runner. Just a simple runner, no agenda attached.

So many people are saying they now want to go to Boston. Now there is a world peace running agenda. Now there is a help Boston victims charity agenda. Now there is a defiance, a finger in your face attitude. I don't want to be a part of that.

So my miles will be quiet, solitary. When I am home, the radio will be off. I might fast on nutritious liquids while I think.

I need to think. I need to connect with the Universe. I need to lift weights, spiritual as well as physical.

Today was the first time I saw my boss since he returned from surgery. He talked about going for his walk. That is different. I found out that I was the only one that earned a 3 score in our department during the turn around (3 is highest). Some recognition will follow. Funny how I consider myself a slacker and not in the view of my superiors.

I don't live in  a post-Boston reality. Soon, my colleagues will forget about it and quit asking me. I suppose Annabelle will want to tell me her story since she finished the race just a couple of minutes before the blast. But otherwise, I need to be under cover. I need to be doing sit-ups and riding my elliptic while I think.

Columbine was huge for me. I was in the monastery when an unknown man shoot several monks in the abbey next door.

I need to sink my mind into A Course in Miracles and leave it there.

Four Days of On Call - 1

Process safety engineers have to be on-call? I guess so since I am for the whole of the holidays. It doesn't really matter. I don't participate in Christmas.

This morning, my meditation was from Lesson 121-123:
Forgiveness is perceiving light in others.
Sink into happiness. Smile on all.
I hold this joy consciously all day.
I thank my Father for His gifts to me.

And I thought of many people. Not just the annoying ones but the authority figures and the friends. All are the same. All ask to be seen in light. I could do this very easy. An advantage to the elliptical or the Nordic Track is that I can shut my eyes and ponder my lessons while riding them. I wholly realized that my Father's gifts were these people  I was thinking about in light.

Yesterday, the builder installed a brand new kitchen faucet as a warranty item, even though my warranty has run out. After I got to work today, I got a recognition award: GOLD level. That is on top of the silver I received earlier this week. The notice brought a dopamine reward experience: I felt good. But later, after I got the details of what for, I realized I wasn't special. Then the opposite of a dopamine reward cropped up.

Until you return to the idea that everything, I mean everything, comes from God. The recognition is a symbol. And also, a way for the universe to take care of me.

The awards are redeemable for cheap consumables or gift cards. I think I'll redeem mine for some hotel dollars.

I came home early today. I was here a couple of hours before I remembered Silence, and the gift of 4 days. Peace descended on me. I became drenched. I feel good.

Worlding

Heidegger fans will recognize the concept. I was thinking about it in my solitude this morning. "The world" (society and its norms) have to subside before something else has space to grow. This is why I spend time alone and in quiet. But today, I thought of "world" as a verb. That is, to create your own reality, you need a dynamic concept; so world becomes "to world." Stagnation is the world. Creation is "to world."

Silence and solitude is not outcome based. It purpose is not to produce enlightenment or anything. Silence and solitude produces "is-ness;" from which a different basis of life can be found. The general pre-occupation of society with TV, food, position, money, fear and anger can dissipate in silence and solitude. Beliefs about who and what I am, or what is my usefulness can be adjusted based on an inner idea as opposed to outer peer pressure.

And so, I venture forth to the park again today. It is cold for the Texas coast. I am wearing long sleeves.

How to Remember

Eternal Silence lives its life in me.
Stately silent Love has set me free.

I stop and remember That Silence behind everything at various times. Remembering it, my Course in Miracles practice of looking beyond this reality goes much better. I am in God. I am part of God. There is no way for there to be anything else but this.

I am chewing over a Christian who blogs about the unclean. There is no such thing as "unclean." What I perceive in this world is a delusion. So the hoity toity don't want dirty drunks in their nice palace-like churches. Or people actually think God doesn't want "unclean" because the Bible says so.

I need to look beyond and remember That Silence. We are one with it. Cannot possibly be separate.

I had an 88 min jog/walk in the warm moist air of Houston this morning. I am one with That Silence.

I have to make a presentation before the Ops Council this afternoon. I am one with That Silence.

I am going to Colorado on Saturday to run for 5 days. I am one with That Silence.

All around the world, I keep hearing that I am in charge of such and such. I am one with That Silence.

The guys at the 3,100 Mile Self Transcendence race keep churning out their daily 60 or 70 miles on the concrete of New York City. I am one with That Silence.

I am That Silence. I am part of God.

One more mile. I am one with That Silence.

Just putting this here so I can fake web host it.

The Promise

Earlier today, I was standing at gate 98C in Newark airport, awaiting flight 1199 to Houston. I was going to be on time. I was standing next to a power source and it wasn't long before someone asked me if I was going to use the plugs. I said no. She put her phone on it. I was looking at my boarding pass. A female pilot wandered over to charge her phone. We got to talking. Somehow, the United boarding process came up. I mentioned that I was one of the regular people. I'm not platinum, gold, or anything.

I looked again at that boarding pass.

My boarding pass was a miracle in itself. It represented me being in Newark about 5 hours earlier than originally planned; and that United had changed my flights without charge and the first flight from Ottawa had arrived in time to make my connection. I suddenly blurted out to random stranger plugging in her phone, "Just think, I'll get to Houston, no traffic on Beltway 8, no traffic on 225, no traffic on 146."

She was not from Houston and had no idea what I was talking about. But I had blurted out an impossible situation; there is never no traffic on these highways at 5:30 pm.

On the other hand, as I looked at the paper boarding pass, I thought it represented a promise. A promise from some higher authority that I would be taken care of.

Amazingly enough, I drove home from the airport, 40 miles during rush hour, without a single bad traffic area.

I have spent most of the day in steel tubes flying through the air. But, I was also alone it seemed. I thought of my medal picture from the Ottawa 2012 half marathon:

It is a still life.

This morning, I spent 3 hours in a car with someone feeling tension. Now, I am driving home, 2,000 miles and hours away from this morning. As I drove the last few miles to my home in Houston, I felt the stillness of the picture. It is a memory of an event, a memory of living flowers. It is a memorial of an experience. It is silent.

I am a girl who will go on running. I will go into my elliptical now. I will do my balance exercises today. I just had my green tea and there is fresh spinach in the fridge. My boss has already sent an e-mail asking if I would help a colleague.

But, alone, I feel the stillness. It is so beautiful, I may cry. Thank You Stillness.

Silence is the Message

Runners obsess about the weather at their next race.

Here is the weather for Augusta NJ next weekend.

Today, in Texas, I am in a quandary. I am back to wanting God without the documentation. I am back to wanting to listen and hear The Voice, without any propaganda from this world.

To do that, I have to understand silence and wordlessness.

My next race is a 24 hour race. It consists of a 0.8x mile course. No tricks. Just go around as much as you care to in 24 hours. I don't think I'll have any swag since I won't make it to 100 miles. It will be just me and my thoughts. It won't be pretty.

I did a bit of running today, on top of a 2h40min cross training session Friday night. I have some aches and pains that need a break from running. So I will attempt to rest this week. the graph with the numbers will have to grow more slowly this month. I only have 38 miles this week. Ha! Not much of a rest after the last race.

Silence. Oh Jesus. You have spoken in my heart with your love.

It just begs...

....for a space in my mind for God:

Let every voice but God's be still in me.
Let no ego thoughts be kept by me.
In deepest silence would I come to You.

Yes surely, I feel the call of silence inside; an opportunity to be with the One I love.

Grievances

It is an amazing thing, a gift from A Course in Miracles is the knowledge of grievances. And if you do the work book, you will be reminded from time to time to inventory your grievances and let them go. This morning while I was out running, I was repeating a lesson about grievances and then I would notice my small mind go to some thing from the world for which I realized I had a grievance against. I have grievances about almost every part of my past. So then I would wipe the slate clean and turn towards higher consciousness.

Then this evening I moved on to the next lesson: My grievances hide the light of the world in me. The lesson gives instructions on how to see the light in you. I did this. But, strangely I've never realized this before, I clearly heard my small mind say, "what good is this light?"

See, real divine light does not provide any emotionally gratifying euphoric experiences. The Light of God is silent and still. When I sit and gaze inward at it, I find the ability to just be quiet and silent. But it is not productive for worldly endeavors. In fact, the practice seems quite useless and maybe not even real; at least according to my ego consciousness.

My silence and solitude and spiritual study is directed towards the purpose of transcending ego consciousness and gaining love based consciousness. Any progress I make could be indirectly applied to worldly living but its main results are not in this world. Lack of proof is the hard part, as I get asked what good my spiritual work is if its results not directly here. I can't explain but anyone who has connected with their higher consciousness would know.

I returned again to the light and watched it, sat with it. If I want inner peace, this is truly the where of it.

Ha, my ego hates walking around in the world as an apparently useless individual.

The Most Difficult of Silences....

....is when events in my world are disturbing. A true hermit might not have to deal with the activities of other, just their own thoughts which can be very difficult. For me, it's when work is in turmoil that I most hear my ego yammering away. In some ways it is fascinating to watch. It some ways it is a good tool for self examination and practice of guard of the heart.

Did I say guard of the heart? Yes. It is a monastic practice. Meg Funk says, "To resist, refrain, to guard against people, places and things that would disturb peace of heart. To give not easy entrance to feelings-emotions,thoughts, passions (even good ones) if they are not God’s way."

After I wrote the above, I went to lift weights. I almost immediately felt good. I dropped into the peace of my heart and the zen of iron. Then, I walked uphill for a short while on the treadmill. Tomorrow's weather looks great. I'll do some running but not overly much. 

Silence Again

I turn to silence because it takes me out of this world.
In silence, I remember the consciousness of love.
This is how I pray.