You heard the news right? The President of the United States is jealous of Dr Fauci. Why? Because Fauci was invited to throw out a first pitch and the president wasn't.
Lets pause a moment and reflect.
The president is jealous of Dr Fauci. Not because of the pitch, but because of the character of Dr Fauci. Dr Fauci got invited to throw out the first pitch because of his integrity. He has so much integrity, he can't be bullied by anyone like Trump. He has so much integrity that he can't be hidden in a corner, sued, purchased, threatened with his job. Nothing. Dr Fauci is untouchable.
Dr Fauci's integrity is something money can't buy. All of Trump's billions can't buy him integrity. Of course, integrity is essentially free. Anyone who wants it can have it. Trump doesn't want integrity but he wants the admiration which Dr Fauci has achieved honor and fame by doing the opposite of trying. Honestly, he is just doing his job. If only the president of the United States would do his job.
You realize that many many people in our country are like Dr Fauci. They have integrity. We have integrity. We can't be bought. Living an integral life is richness beyond belief. Power beyond belief.
In March of 2018, I sent the following paragraph of resignation to my then corporate management:
"I will terminate my employment on September 10, 2018 to pursue a more rewarding lifestyle. The technical content of my job, for which I show an aptitude and enjoyment, has diminished; replaced by an increase in administrative duties for which I am unsuited and which are of little interest. The performance system does not reward my technical competency. There is time wasted in this job in circular arguments, writing unread reports, performing extra work due to under-functioning and poorly trained colleagues; and my time is more valuable to me than to spend it doing this. I only have one life and I want to do something more productive with it."
I began my journey into Phase 3 of my life. Financially, the project is successful. I have more money than ever. But what about emotionally? What about finding a more rewarding life style or being more productive with my life?
Existential questions for sure.
Over all, my emotional condition is very much improved.
Rewarding lifestyle. Any life not spent in front of a computer doing paperwork for a corporation is an improvement. I don't have a TV so I don't sit on the couch. I love the forests which I have around me. I love doing miles. I love being an athlete.
Productivity: I left my career with the idea of completing a book. I left Texas with a large portion of content hand written. I was successful over the past two years in completing the technical content of the book, 171 pages of it. Recently, I got the creative idea on how to shape the book into a work of fiction which many people would enjoy reading. I see another two years working on re-shaping the original book. Ever since I got that fiction idea, new paragraphs have been pouring out of me and I am having fun writing.
Productivity: Just being. Loving yourself just because you exist, not because of what you have to show for it. That is me, most of the time. Simplicity and essentialism feel good to me. I love life with less distractions for the purpose of connecting with my soul. I have focused on "just being" as a goal for many years. I hoped for it from my monastic life. I clung to is after my monastic life. The corona shut down brought it to me. It continues.
I signed up for another virtual race. This one consists of four distances, and if you do all four, your get a buckle. The longest distance was 50k. I did that today. It was an ordeal. For those of you that don't know, 50k is 31 miles, but I did 31.46 miles.
I started off at 4:00 am. It was a delightful morning, but I knew it was going to heat up. I wore the bib provided by the race, just to feel and look like I was in a race.
I ran the first 20.3 miles along bike paths near my house. They went really well due to coolish temperatures during the night and a small amount of cloud cover until 8:30 or so. I included the bike path in Hodge Park which goes north to south across the park. The first time I went across the park, no one was in the parking lot near the golf course start. The second time, about 50 men were there, some at the driving range. Some at the putting greens and many many waiting in carts. There was a veritable traffic jam of golf carts. I was not impressed by the golf scenery.
After the first 20 miles, I took a pit stop at my house. It was by then getting hot and my feet felt like they had just run 20 miles. I battled with thoughts of quitting (its just a virtual race, who cares what you do), but somehow, I made it back out the door (I would know whether I quit or cheated and feel bad about myself). This time, I drove 2 miles to a park that had some trees, planning to do the rest of the 50k in the shade. I did it, but it did get hot, even in the shade. The last 5 miles, I only walked.
It was exciting to see those last few miles get done and my Garmin slowly make its way to 31 miles. Especially since my brain was devising various ways of cheating. The honest finishing is so much sweeter when you realize how much your brain was working against you. But doing it was awesome. I did it!!
(I complain about the heat, but really, Missouri is not at all hot like Houston area where I used to live. )
I thought alot about this blogger named of Dixie of Homemade Wanderlust. She hiked the AT, the CDT, the PCT and a trail in Spain. I relate to her because she was an engineer who escaped her cubicle. I so appreciate that I am not in a cubicle, sitting at a computer all day. I had the courage to say, "this is enough money," and get out.
I'm saving up all the virtual race swag I've been getting and making a little shrine to 2020 on a wall in my house. Four events done so far, and at least two more which I've signed up for, but they haven't started.
Today I had an awesome 13.2 mile jog. The possibility was brought to me by clouds. Clouds kept the temperature down for most of the run. I didn't get started until 9 am, pretty late since it is summer and headed to 90F today. I slept until 8 am was the reason for the late start. I don't know why I needed 10 hours of sleep last night, but I got it.
Unabashedly Awesome?
I spent nearly this entire run thinking about both the 50k I plan to run on Monday, and the many years of running I have still to come. Being 61, it is unabashedly awesome to still be running. When I was a teenager, women didn't run marathons at all let alone 60yo. Remember those picture of women dragging their selves across finish lines, until Joan Benoit Samuelson came dancing across the finish line in an Olympic marathon. After that, it was game on. Now, more than 40 years later, it is still game on for me.
I am excited about Monday. Today I figured out a plan to get 7 plus hours of running into a single run. I decided to leave the house at 3:45 and drive to a nearby park. Park there and then run 9 or 10 miles home. Pit stop and refuel. Run 9 miles back to my car. Refuel, run on a park bike path/ trail while refueling for the balance of the run.
As a runner, I'm unabashedly awesome, but as a human, my life is unabashedly awesome. My life has expanded into dimensions of good feelings which I hadn't felt before. I feel so good. Why? Spiritual processes. I do my spiritual processes.
