Is it possible at all for me to explain what a revelation I had this morning? This blog is about the most rambling ever, the most nonsense and the most useless; but I’m doing it for myself. I haven’t quoted passages but only shared what I think today. The non-Course reader may get a totally wrong idea of the Course from my musings. A more advanced Course student may want to correct me. Too bad, so sad. Sing your corrections to yourself.
I’ve read the Course in Miracles (ACIM) text 3+ times in the past year and a half. I am on my second time through the work book. I am almost daily amazed at how I do think differently. The misery of a purely ego driven existence is being relieved.
In the ego world, we sing a hymn of hate: that person is stupid, that person drives wrong, everything is unfair, I don’t have enough money, and I’m getting old and sick and fat. As I have been spending mucho time investigating my own hymn of hate, I realize that there is not one physical person in the world who I would not criticize (secretly hate). I have many special hate relationships. Even though I know better than to say anything out loud to fat over-eaters or wheezing smokers, I certainly think it (and they know it too).
Now people also have special love relationships. These are family ties, maybe special best friends. Special love relationships are also hate filled. They are a subtle dance of people trying to get other people to fulfill their ego needs. Certainly, non-ACIM readers will think I am being very harsh. But looking within myself at the subtle details of relationships, I see I’m always trying to get something for myself. Emotional gratification is found even in works of mercy. It’s just hard to admit selfishness when you appear so gracious.
Now I know my outlook on others makes me unhappy; and finding a way to be happy is the purpose of spirituality. The life given to God is filled with happy thoughts.
In ACIM, we are told we can give all our relationships to the Holy Spirit who will transform them. They will suddenly have the Holy Spirit’s goal of holiness for their purpose; not ego gratification. The relationship becomes totally the opposite of what it once was. A Holy Relationship can be when two people who decide to undertake a relationship with holiness as its goal. But the one real relationship is with God. God is in everyone.
I am saying all this as a prelude to my revelation, trying to lay some background. Pretty soon, I will get to my revelation. I am a solitary contemplative; and I have no intention of becoming entangled in groups. As a solitary, especially since I live in a small town, I do not know any face-to-face people who are practicing ACIM. I have no best friend nearby. I have no husband, no children and no family. Most Christians I know would be severely distressed by ACIM’s conception of Son of God and of humanity and of the non-existence of sin. So how can I have a Holy Relationship such as described in ACIM? We need the Holy Relationship in order to express the holy instant. The holy instant needs to be expressed or it is soon forgotten. For the past year and a half, I have been counting myself a failure because of who I am and my choice to disentangle from groups. The Course says that God cannot fail; so what does God do with a solitary contemplative like me? Am I not just a sinner because I refuse to join the group?
I have pondered these questions a good long time. ACIM teaching is counter-cultural and very different so I usually don’t speak much about it. This silence seems to separate me from other people. At the same time, I have a very strong practice of taking my inventory and giving my hate to Jesus. I have a strong practice of ACIM forgiveness: looking beyond the physical body, which is an illusion, and seeing only the Christ, present within.
Are you ready for my revelation?
I have only one relationship. Everything in the world was my hymn of hate; but if I give the whole thing, the whole projection to Jesus, then I can have a Holy Relationship with the whole Son of God, Christ. The one consciousness “Son of God” is present in everyone and this is whom I am having a Holy Relationship with. The individual people may be unaware, but the Christ certainly is aware. Christ is alive and looking at me, not with physical eyes, but with true vision. Here is where I put my faith. No matter what that body does in the physical world, including my own body, I stick to having a relationship with Christ. I am free from thinking I need to go find another person who agrees with me so I can have a Holy Relationship as the Course seems to require. This one Holy Relationship with Christ is Salvation.
In my revelation this morning, I actually sensed the Christ presence having a relationship with me. I was not a body, but Christ also. I can let go of individual bodies, which are an illusion, and relate only to Christ, whom we all are. Christ is the Son of God. A constant stream of love flows from the Father to the Son. We are one. We are in Him. He is in us. It is really true and I know it.