Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Doing Time

Write a blog in 5 minutes? OK...but, I won't have time to muse, edit, rearrange etc. Just raw thoughts, insane and incoherent.

This morning, I went for an early morning run. I have in mind that I will run a marathon in 8 weeks; but regardless of what I am accused of "training for" I would have been running anyway. I can runa marathin in 4+ hours. Every now and then, I dream of qualifying for Boston or winning an award. "Qualifying for Boston" is a purely egotistical desire. It doesn't mean anything. Fast 50 something women runners finish marathons in 3:30 or less. I couldn't do that even when I was 20.

So, ultimately, "training" is just doing time. If I do the time, I can do the race. If I do the race, big deal. I come home with my finisher medal and age group plaque and a deep sense of emptiness. I have accepted trinkets and baubles to represent an inordinate amount of "doing time running." Before the race I had high value of my self. After the race I have littleness.

5 minutes is up. I must go. I am on my way to Illinois in a corporate plane. Oh joy!

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