Sunday, January 25, 2009

My Current Understanding

EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION - I declare my freedom from ego slavery and prison.

This world is a bad dream lived by my ego consciousness. I am not an ego. I am dreaming. I am the dreamer. I believe the dream because I am asleep. If I would wake up, this bad dream would vanish and I would see I am but a thought/idea of love in the Mind of God. I cannot wake up by myself so Jesus and the Holy Spirit have entered my dream and are helping me to wake up. It doesn’t really matter how the dreaming began. What matters is that I now, right now, this instant, choose to wake up. I wake up by following the teaching of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit has been helping me to see why I don’t make this choice. If I give the why to the Holy Spirit, it can be healed so that I come closer to waking up. When I have finally given my entire bad dream to the Holy Spirit, I will be ready to wake up and God will awaken me gently. The awakening won’t scare me because I was ready.

This weekend, I have given considerable thought to my fear of financial insecurity. I have been using the “financial crises” as my touchstone. Like most people, I think I need money. But I am dreaming; in the real world, money is meaningless. I keep talking to Jesus and the Holy Spirit about my fear, my terror. It may be a dream but I believe it and cower at the thought of not having money to protect myself. Here, we arrive at exactly the point: I think money will save me. I do not believe God will save me. Here, going deeper, I look at the entire world as one huge frightening disappointment. Every time I thought I grasped salvation in the form of a material savior, it was ripped from my grasp by fate, by God. How over and over I have been terrified and believed that God would not save me. I believed it was God who ruined my dream. I somehow began dreaming because I hated God and pushed Him away. In the dream, I am afraid of God because I think it is God that is punishing me, not that I am punishing myself. My why: I am afraid of God because I believe I did something to hurt Him; and in my guilt and remorse, I made a dream of self punishment. Suddenly, I am able to admit that I have created this dream as a self punishment. My why, self punishment, can be given to the Holy Spirit for healing.

To get out of this dream, to have my fear vanish, I simply tell this to Jesus and the Holy Spirit and listen to their story of how I am holy because God created me holy, of how I am not the dream but love because God is love and nothing else is real, of how I am dreaming and in reality, I exist in the Mind of God and have never left it. It is impossible that I could hate God, fear God or leave God. God is love, not punishment. Instead of hating the other people in my dream, I see them as light with me in the Mind of God; they too are dreaming, but I don't have to believe any dream. I can keep choosing to listen to the story told by Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Their story is beautiful. In their story, we have peace and light and joy. Money is meaningless because I am only a thought of love. What could a thought of love possibly need money for? Bodily pain, age and disease is meaningless, because I am not a body. Over eating and getting fat is meaningless. Even running and weight lifting are meaningless.

Only love means anything. Love is not a vain attempt to get another person to treat me a certain way. It is peace and joy and comfort provided solely in God. I have a vision I use. I see my self as an idea in a world of light. I look and see a tiny black spec. The black spec is my bad dream. I am not the dream. I tell Jesus and the Holy Spirit of my bad dream and give it to them. The black spec vanishes and I am simply safe in the light.

OK. I don't want to live my life in fear. I deeply believe that the true answer to fear is in the spiritual world. It is not in: a government bailout, not in railing my financial advisor to find an investment that will grow, not in frugality, not in increased savings, not in worrying about my job. No investment in this dream world will work. Only investment in the spiritual world will work. Truth can only be found in God. My help is in allowing Jesus and the Holy Spirit to teach me how to live in the spiritual world and not in the bad dream.

The Kingdom of God is in you. My peace I give you. Sell all and follow me. To save your life, you must lose it.

I am under no laws but God's. God is Love.

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