Total Self Gift

from ACIM:

• The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living in this world.
• ...his (Holy Spirit's) goal replaces yours (ego's)...
• ...as the unholy relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise of its maker (ego), so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the Redeemer of relationships (Holy Spirit)...
• ...the goal of the relationship (which has been given to the Holy Spirit) is abruptly shifted (by the Holy Spirit) to the exact opposite of what it was. This is the first result of offering the relationship to the Holy Spirit, to use for his purposes.

When I was in the monastery and approaching the making of my vows, I studied the idea of "total self gift." It was taught to me that the making of the vow meant that I had totally given myself to God. This notion was one of the strong desires I had for becoming a nun; but also it was a promotional point for "selling" monastic life to young women. Yes, I desperately want to give my self to God. The Rule of Benedict indicates that this can only be done in the monastery.

So when I got kicked out, I was devestaed because I thought my opportunity for "total self gift" was robbed from me. It seemed totally unfair that an institution could decide to deny me that opportunity.

Even though I became "secular" religious, I never gave up on my total self gift. As much as possible, I devote my time and effort to God. Working at my job is part of listening to God and knowing God. Running is contemplation. What I eat or not is part of The Relationship. There is only one relationship that any of us have: our Relationship with God. Our human interactions are either part of The Relationship, because they have been given to the Holy Spirit; or they are part of the ego because we are using them for our own goals.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Give up your life to Him; and join me on the Road to Happy Destiny!