What is my spirituality?

No quotes from any place today. I am on my own; a potentially dangerous place. The best thing to do is to take my thought inventory.

I am interested in raw foods for the spiritual potential of a pristine human body. I know this from personal experience; but also from books. Still and all, what is The Spirit saying to me? What does enhanced Christ consciousness mean to me? Should I read another book to find out? No, sometimes, I need to sit and experience; listen to my own divine connection.

I am interested in running and I am interested in meditation; for their spiritual potential. But, if I never read any books, would I think of these things at all, let alone as spiritual enhancers?

I read the Bible and I go to church. I was gratified to see this weekend that the authority over my spiritual life no longer belongs to a bunch of Roman Catholic bishops. I did not take a copy of the bishop's political propaganda and will not be voting as instructed. I wear a brown scapular. If you are not Roman Catholic, you probably have not heard of this; but it is a distinclty Catholic fetish. However, I have not taken mine to a priest and been officially invested. To do so would turn the authority for why I wear it over to a priest instead of believing that Spirit is everywhere at all times no matter what the activity (or not) of any priest. Um...I am officially confirmed Catholic, but definitely not in agreement with many things, which may actually mean that I am not Catholic to some conservative Catholics (or those Bishops). God really doesn't care about these technicalities. I am free. My spirituality is between me and God.

So, what really is it? Why am I so stuck on spirituality as the primary focus of my life? I've not had (exactly) the euphoric spiritual experience. I've had those brief glimpses and aha moments. I still work for a living. I still have to clean the house, take out the garbage and mow the lawn. Many people think spirituality should free me from all these daily life experiences. I don't know that I have transcended anything. I'm sure I haven't received any special or privileged gift from God.

Is "spirituality" in and of itself something I've been trained by society to want? Is all my spiritual practice merely an ego ploy to help me believe I am going after the quintessential human reward? Quite possibly yes! I have to face facts; its possible my spirituality is only an ego obsession.

The key now is to go ahead and talk to Christ, or Jesus, or some intangible higher consciousness about this and ask for help. If IT is really there, I will get help. I'll get back to you, however, in a millisecond or in ten years.

This morning, out running, my mind was stuck in worldly affairs about work. I heard the first bird chirp. I thought, choose... a tiny bird chirp in the pre-dawn darkness is what the Spirit is like for you. Be quiet and listen. Then as I got to the top of a hill, once again thinking ego thoughts, I saw a magnificent sunrise. I thought, get out of the world. You are at the top of a hill, out of the trees, at the exact right time to see a vision. Look up. This is what the Spirit is like for you; silent but awesome. Then, I sunk back into my ego concerns. It became light, I watched a bird soar silently. I thought, stop listening to the ego and look up. The silent bird soaring is what the Spirit is like for you. Choose the silent Spirit. There is always some other thing to look at or think about than what the ego has to worry about, to plot about, to complain about, to punish you with. Let go. Choose something else.