Tuesday, July 28, 2009

More About My Relationship With God

The purpose of the basic text for Alcoholics Anonymous, the Big Book, states that its purpose is to help the alcoholic develop a relationship with a Higher Power on simple and understandable terms. Sometimes, I’m not sure I’ve attained enough humility or self renunciation to have a relationship with God upon which I can absolutely rely. It must be my ego which does not know God and hence remains angry at God.

What does my soul/heart/Self say? If I am honest with myself, my conversation with God always rests in a silent, unfathomable, infinite peace with a knowable consciousness of joy. The ineffable darkness I find in meditation is the pure presence of God; which takes tremendous patience to appreciate. “I don’t know,” are the words which release me. Peace is both the beauty and the agony of God for me.

Today, I had a nice 70 minute run. I've been nursing a newly developed (within the last 2 weeks) runner's knee. I think it is from a) running on a sprained ankle with totally fatigued quads for 4 hours in my race 2 weeks ago; then b) having a 30 mile temper tantrum a week later; plus c) continuing to do alot of hills; and then d) trying out the Nike Free shoes too much. The Free shoes do not provide the support I've been used to. Add up all the factors and you see a sore knee.

So, I also wonder if the exer-bike I quit using 6 weeks ago had actually been doing some strengthening of the quads; which I needed unbeknownst to me. Anyway, besides ice, I have a couple of new quad strengthening exercises to try.

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