Monday, May 18, 2009


I have said that my goal is to know God in this lifetime. I am aware that the Course says this takes a long long time. I'm just assuming my other lifetimes are parallel not serial; and anyway separation never happened.

But, how do I expect to know God in this lifetime? I have the technology. I change from seeking comfort as an American consumer and to seeking only learning in every situation. I learn to employ Christ vision instead of hateful fearful judgment, in everything. Learning to see only holiness is my act and purpose of forgiveness, to which God has called me and sent His Teacher to help me.

The other thing is to give up my life to Him, totally.

One of the ACIM lesson thoughts today was, "Your grace is given me, I claim it now." If I combine this willingness to receive the grace already given with the idea of learning, I suddenly saw all of my personal past, both painful and not, as learning; and I fully accepted the grace that was present. Until this morning, there was so much to not appreciate: the family problems, the relationship problems, the self esteem problems, the monastic community problems. But suddenly this morning, it all came into sharp focus as grace given. So tremendous to have my perception shift: a miracle.

I rode my bicycle to work today. There is no rain in the forcast and it is light enough at 5:30. I feel so happy riding that bicycle. I wonder if cars really do have some negative effect on the psyche?

I had no ill effects from yesterday's running, so there I was this morning, on the back porch for 40 minutes plus weight lifting. It is so weird to see me there on the exer-bike or the treadmill; periodically increasing speed or difficulty and then relaxing. Putting a little extra weight on the barbell. Holding a crunch just a tad longer.

Thursday begins my personal multi-days. If you are not an ultra-marathoner, you may not have heard of a multi-day race. It is a race where people run, usually around a course, everyday for six or nine days, racking up hundreds of miles. My plan is to practice my jog/walk for several hours a day, except Friday. On Friday, I probably run 13 miles and then it is off to the monestary to see Sr Priscilla. Priscilla is 93 years old; and I'm sure less than 5 feet tall. Several years ago, we lived together in an ashram in a forest. We were partners in "crime" as she was forbidden by our superior to work too hard and I would lend her a hand when she was sneaking around and working.

144 days to Heartland Priairie.

No comments: