A meditation on brain programming.
Would you suffer physical pain running beyond your body's ability in order to get one of these? Would you cheat to get it? Would you spend money out the wazoo to get it?
Of course you would. It is a cheap piece of plastic. But your brain doesn't know that and will nag at you until you do it. You will make up lofty reasons for why you did it, strengths of character, spiritual value, love, determination, courage, etc.
Without the shiny gold medallion, you wouldn't do it. This is the ultimate participation in the dopamine reward cycle. We want to be a hero and we want everyone to admire us.
The only way to be true to yourself is to do it without the notoriety, the rewards, the conversations. Jesus walked through pain knowing it meant nothing. This is the path to eternal life: realize that this world means nothing. Go into your secret room and do your miles there. Self transcendence has to be done in private or else it is just the dopamine self all over again.
Give it up.
I prayed this morning for an enemy. After that, I feel good. "I pray for M. I pray for his health, prosperity and happiness. I pray that everything I want for myself be given to him."