I have never experienced the big bang sort of revelatory experience which folks call "enlightenment." Most folks think you need this experience in order to say you have been enlightened.
I think I am a slowly dawning sunrise.
Something drives my life. I think it is soul. Without evidence of the highly emotional variety, I could say I proceed by faith. But maybe I proceed by hope. It could even be that my ego finds failure so unacceptable, that I keep up the spiritual study.
I don't know whether my insides are a long but firmly bottled hate and anger; or inner peace.
My spiritual life is like climbing a mountain. At this time, it seems as if I have left the beautiful meadows with mountain wildflowers and trickling streams. I seem to be climbing above the tree line into territory which is nothing but rocks. The delicious campfire meals are left behind. It gets colder and windier. The air is thinner. I keep taking one step at a time. I do not know when or if I will reach the summit; or if the summit will be revelation.
I just know I must keep going. Such is The Task.