Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Wednesday Before Christmas

This morning at Mass, Jesus already had on his Christmas colors.

This morning I got up a little early, 3:30. I did my spiritual study which left me empty, no real inspiring thoughts. If I am terriby peaceful and quiet, I recognize emptiness as peace. But this seems to require some spiritual skill and awareness; otherwise we just think God wasn't there and go on with our worldy life. ACIM text 26.II:

  • This is your brother, focus of your hate, unworthy to be part of you and thus outside yourself...The Holy Spirit knows your healing is the witness unto his, and cannot be apart from his at all.
  • Let yourself be healed that you may be forgiving, offering salvation to your brother and yourself.
  • Forgiveness is not real unless it brings a healing to your brother and yourself. You must attest his sins have no effect on you to demonstrate they are not real....that his guilt is but the fabric of a senseless dream.
Reading carefully, you see what tied my ego brain in knots but seems not to bother my innocent mind: what is said seems contradictory unles you can think non-linear. "...be healed that you may be forgiving..." "Forgiveness is not real unless it brings healing..." It includes my ego's usual sticking point: how can I look out of my head and not see sin? But at the moment, I am at peace with the circular nature of healing and forgiveness as well as the fact that it is the Holy Spirit who looks out of my head and sees innocence. My job is to let Him: both heal and see innocence. Hence is forgiveness accomplished.

Then I went for an hour long run on the hills in the rain. I had on my gortex, temps at 34F and no wind. It was a run worth taking. An hour long run doesn't tire the legs at all but does make some endorphins, shuffle the blood around, air out the lungs and freshen the mind.

Then, I zipped up to Mass. They had taken down the Advent colors and put up the Christmas decorations. I wonder why, year after year, the tacky cardboard angels keep showing up on an otherwise very sophisticated layout.

Now, I am at work. The plan is to go to lunch at 11:30 today and not come back until Tuesday. I have no Christmas plans. This year, I won't even claim that I will practice contemplation while the rest of the world eats and opens gifts. If I am contemplative at all, it will be in mindlessness as I practice my zen-like core routine. I'll do some running, reading, writing and sleeping. I'll watch the snow come down and then get out my yak-traks for a snowy run. I'll lay low and not interfere with anyone else's perception of peace on earth.

et en terra, terra pax...

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