Beyond Human Aid

I went to a 12 Step meeting yesterday. They read December 6 from a book called Daily Reflections. Here is part of what was read:

"When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source
of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence
upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that
it would work where nothing else would." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 116

The meeting turned into a meeting on lonliness because 99% of the 30+ people there do not sit in silence and meditate; hence, they don't use God for emotional stability. They seek out the 12 step fellowship when they are having a tough time.

I've found that only going into my hermitage and sitting silently with God, listening to the Voice for God, will help me when I am in emotional turmoil. Since it is usually other humans that disturb my ego; it makes sense to me that bringing the ego to the silence of God is the only remedy.

But even if not, I cannot really have an indepth conversation with most people because I have intentionally marginalized myself over the past ten years. I don't like to discuss things at the level of the material world. I like to discuss them from the perspective of the realm of the spirit or according to A Course in Miracles. So I am beyond human aid because the responses most people give me to anything I say are not at the level I'm looking for.

Since I am beyond human aid, God is my Source, Teacher, Councilor and Guide. Once God becomes The One, it makes no sense to go read a self help book or a scripture commentary or obey some religious rule. These things are probably not telling you what the Voice for God is telling you. They are always a filter between you and the Voice for God. It doesn't mean that the Holy Spirit cannot use them, but the effectiveness of direct communication is so much more.

Most people don't trust themselves to obtain direct guidance. I wish they would just give it a try for a few years. They would find that the ability will develop into a vital sixth sense which will come through at every instance.

It has been years since I was able to relate to anyone face to face. I am only now coming to accept that this is my choice and to be expected and don't sweat it. I still need to progress in the Course in Miracles teaching that the world is an illusion and that bodies are not required for relationship. (Serious topic I won't try to explain at this time).

So I go to solitude and silence. My ego wants to yell at me about the other people. Unconsciously, I believe my ego's yammering judgments about the other people. When I am conscious, I go to Jesus and say, "Jesus, I believe my ego even though I know better than to judge. I admit that this insanity is in my mind but I cannot get out of my thinking by myself. Please help me." What I immediately heard was, "Stop listening to your ego. Seek the silence." STOP listening to the wrong voice....duh! That was easy, but I had to go into my hermitage and seek silence in order to hear this.

Saturday, I had a nice 20 mile run. Yesterday a nice 11 mile run. This morning, I decided to run on the sidewalk because the road was icy. I tripped over a crack! Fell down anyway! (No serious damage). So, it is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. It means that outdoor running for the next two or three months will be chancy depending on footing. Yes, I have all the equipment like screwed shoes, yak trak and spikes. None of these a totally dependable. So, the treadmill gets used alot more. It is because of the weather that I have not signed up for the Run for the Ranch Marathon on 12/27; I just don't know if I'll even feel like making a three hour drive!