Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Reflections - juice fast

Reflections during the first 30 hours of a juice fast:

Fasting is not about sin. I am already holy and pure, but I may not know it. Fasting is equal to going to work and doing the dishes, just part of my life.

I had symptoms of self disgust which I was projecting onto my body. The disgust is a mind sickness. In fasting, I am putting away my foolish hatred and giving it to Christ. What came first, the healing or the fasting? Fasting is a symptom of healing.

I fast because I’ve discovered what is right about me. Fasting is a triumphal journey away from the ego’s prison into the heart of God.

Fasting is easier said than done. We read of its physical and spiritual benefits, yet there are times of weakness, where quitting is so close. At 3 pm, driving home from work, I assumed that I would go for a short run and then eat; all resolve was gone. But, during the run, I decided I would make juice and tea and then decide. By the time I got to drinking those items, I also had a spiritual book in front of me, “The Hermitage Within.” Reading the book it occurred to me, I am not fasting by my choice but at the request of Christ. I could not break the fast too soon no more than I would take a drink of alcohol.

I wanted Jesus to tell me what fasting has to do with A Course in Miracles (ACIM). The relationship is buried in the quiet. In fasting, I have made a strange desert solitude where I am alone with God, in quiet conversation. Sometimes I feel hunger and temptation to satisfy the pallet, but do not respond. I am cold; wouldn't hot food be great? To not respond to temptation, I turn to the Holy Spirit and occupy my mind with the knowledge of God’s love; how much God wants me. Eating is not a need, God is. Hunger is not real but a delusion; God’s yearning is real.

Though I might want to fast for health, I cannot accomplish anything without God. The gift of fasting is too much too contemplate, as is the Love of God. The best I can do is try to stay with it one more moment; and this is not accomplished without Help.

Distilled water is His greatest gift.

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