1. Almost all stories and teachings that I have read about how to connect with God require an altered state of consciousness. That is: meditation, adoration, drugs, brain injury, fasting, long distance running, isolation and silence.
2. Sometimes God comes as a spontaneous gift of revelation. Nothing can be done to make this happen.
So, the normal waking awareness is not enough for divine Union. At least, that's what we all believe. I personally think that divine union experienced as a result of one of the items in #1 above are yielding a false god; more likely just brain chemistry in action. God is really dopamine.
3. My main fear is of other people.
I live in a totally man made environment. There is very little about nature in my daily life. All of my daily challenges come from encounters with others. Most people don't like to identify this fact so clearly or admit that fear of others is the main driving force.
I've spent my adult life chasing God. I've claimed that the use of spiritual practices has made me a person of great inner calm. At this point in my life, I have rejected the dopamine God.
I am alive and very emotionally stable; but I have no actual purpose for being alive. Unless you say that faith in the eventual spontaneous coming of Revelation is what I am living for, then I don't have a purpose.
If I see my purposelessness as a horrible thing, very sad, then no wonder I try desperately to find a purpose in serving God. It seems ridiculous that a human race would exist with consciousness but utterly no higher reason for being alive. So, yes we are driven to find the higher. We can't stand being nothing. (Especially Americans).
Should I go participate in public service so that I can feel good about my existence? haha, no I'll just go consume some more.