Today is my work-at-home day. So, since there was no commute and no need to be at work at 6 am, I got in a long (2 hour) run on the hills around where I live.
For once, I was not dreaming of races but of my career. I got accepted into the 3 year leadership program. I'm also in a mentoring program, where a top executive mentors me and there are other learning opportunities. I'm also in training to be a High Performance Culture/Creative Thinking Facilitator. This on top of outstanding work performance and compliments all around. Today, someone even asked if I would go to Germany for him (gulp).
This is in contrast to the seeming reclusive no-where that I have lived since leaving the monastery 8 years ago (it hardly seems that long).
As I ran this morning, I thought about my contemplative outlook and insistence on spending spiritual time every morning and evening. I thought about A Course in Miracles and why I continue to rely on a written spiritual program instead of going it on my own.
The truth is that my emotional balance and success at both career and running has been dramatically improved since becoming an ACIM student. The emotional balance part is crucial. But as incredible as it sounds, I have turned my life over to the Holy Spirit; even though I have no proof or strong witness that there even is a Holy Spirit. I do so much better at daily life if I turn first thing in the morning to holy reading of the ACIM text and then understanding that the rest of the day belongs to the Holy Spirit. I am Its channel and Its student. I don't judge my life based on the world's definition of what is good. I see it all as the Holy Spirit's gift to me, part of my spiritual awakening, part of my spiritual role. I've given up my worldly role. I just go out each day and do the work laid out for me by the Holy Spirit.
I've decided to keep this commitment. That is the point I came to as I ran this morning. As incredible as it sounds, the spiritual approach not only helps me, but keeps me out of depression and failure; even though I have no tangible evidence of God. Relying on God is my lifeline. So, I'm going to continue doing what has been working no matter what others think of my approach.