Today is Wednesday. The Aslinger Endurance run starts Friday night at 7 pm. I'll run all night. I hope to get to 50 miles, and stop there.
I thought alot last night and this morning about my fitness lifestyle. My time commitment goes far beyond what is needed for health or even marathon training. I realize most people can look at me and think, "well she doesn't have a life." In addition, I am continually trying to explain that my training and racing is not about the speeds or distances or accomplishments.
I feel the pull before any workout, "I wish I could go for hours." As I think about my desire to workout for an endless period of time, I realize that the quality of endless peace and self transcendence is what I am really after.Actually, my whole foray into ultra-running began with the idea of self transcendence thru running, as promoted by Sri Chinmoy. The endlessness offers me escape from myself (my restless personality) and the world, and draws me like a drug. Working out and the hope of transcendence of my ego are the center of my life. I revolve around the breaks from the ordinary work-a-day world. This is my prayer. This is my pathway to higher mind. My whole life has been about the pursuit of higher mind and working out is part of it for me.
So as I look at my upcoming race, I know what will happen. It is a one mile loop and it will shortly become dark but lit with street lights. I will just peacefully go around and around while my rational mind loses is grip. I'll stop at 50 miles (if that), because I want to be able to work out again soon. I go to the race environment to do this because I don't stick it out for 10 hours by myself; and the race environment provides needed support for my quest.
Paul Brunton said, "The Quest not only begins in the heart but also ends there too. It is an endeavour to lift to a higher plane, and expand to a larger measure, the whole of his identity. It brings in the most important part of himself--being, essence, Consciousness."