Yesterday, I finished Aslinger 50 miles, and drove home.
Last night, I asked the Lord, “What is the bottom line?” Trust is the word that immediately entered my mind, because I need to trust the Spirit of the Lord to take care of my work life.
Part 2 of the answer was like this. I am reading Varieties of Religious Experience by William James. I’ve read all these conversion experiences and the psychological explanations. Still, last night I said, “Lord, I wish I had the knowledge and love which was heartfelt enough to where I was always attracted to you.” These people with bliss experiences supposedly have such knowledge of safety that they never again feel fear. But then I realized that there is a media bias towards people who have the emotional experience of enlightenment and we are taught to want that. In spiritual terms, however, there is no “less than” associated with the person who has consciously decided to carry out the faith process. I have the gift of conscious conversion, to carry out the process of making the spiritual the center of my life as a decision and plan of action. I’m not doing it by myself. I do have spiritual help. But the Spirit honors my process. My plan or its actions are not important. The faith and the conscious turning to listen to the Spirit is what are important.
So, in a sense, that is a hugely beautiful thing: I walk hand in hand with the Spirit of the Lord because I want to.
So, yesterday, I ran 50 miles and drove home.
This morning, being un-injured though a bit fatigued, I find myself in exercise clothes, stretching, foam rollering, core exercises, free weights and some easy aerobics.
You have to ask: why? What is driving this activity? Shouldn’t I take a day off? I have depth within me. When I am working out, I am going in and finding my core, my essence. I must need to do this.