Today was a very ultra monk day.
First, I slept in a bit late. Then, decided I would run on the levy as I didn't think there would be too much snow; and I had a brand new pair of trail shoes which were a size larger than usual and hadn't yet had the toes cut out (as happens to all my shoes). As I backed the car out, I realized road running would have been out of the question because of a foggy mist putting an invisible ice glazing on the asphalt.
So, it was about 25F, no wind and a foggy mist: perfect for having the levy to myself. The levy was divided down the middle ice/snow; so I could jog along pretty good at the dividing line. The trail shoes worked good. I didn't bring the garmin because I didn't want to judge myself, just jog along for as long as I felt like it. I did 3 laps in 3h46. Pretty sweet.
I call this an ultra monk day because I was thinking inward towards whatever wordlessness is the actual essence of life. I think that God is the silence deep in the heart of everything; and that is what I get to experience directly when I am alone like that. When I am around others, I am always making adjustments for them; so I don't get to be Who I really am, that inner silent truth.
I got to think about what I would be like with no people around. My thoughts would not need to be in words. The depth of silence is so beautiful to me. Stillness and quiet on the inside seems like the ultimate experience and the highest gift of life itself. Love must be quiet in its original form. Existence beyond this consciousness of silent love is not necessary. Alone, I get to experience this, even while jogging. But especially jogging as I do it because it is so slow and unimpressive. It doesn't lend itself to dreams of glory or conquest.
For spirituality, I've gone both directly to ____ but also gone to books. If I hadn't been taught anything, I'd not know what to call God or the Holy Spirit; I'd just have the consciousness unconsciously. I'd be alive as one, not as a separate being. This leads me to wonder again about letting go of any books. I already can't stand to be taught and stopped listening to tapes because I don't want the voice of the teacher in my thoughts.
After running: I got my hair cut.
Tomorrow's weather: +60F with thunder storms.....