Sunday, June 13, 2010
Training to be Spirit
The second day in a row exhaustion has caught up with me. Yesterday I had 5 hours of endurance. Today I had 4:20. My weekend workouts have gone crazy. Last weekend, I endured 41 miles over the two days. My weekday workouts have gone crazy as I have added another aerobic option to my living room gym and can work out without running and killing my legs.
All balance and relationship to society has been erased by solitude, intentional marginalization and an obstinate intention to go beyond the normal limits programmed into most mature women. No! I say. No! I will not be unhealthy or fat or dull and lifeless. I must bring forth the spirit within. I intend to transcend. My tools are A Course in Miracles and endurance.
My workouts are about digging deep beyond the ego to the Strength. The experience of Strength is the conscious embodiment of spirit. Strength is my addiction, always calling to me from beyond the next mile.
I care nothing for the society of men or participation in their social groupings (including their false religions and horrid entertainment). Being a part of the main stream doesn’t look successful to me.
Living in the beyond world does. Living beyond the masses is successful because it is a raw and urgent spiritual consciousness. The frontier of consciousness is not timid, tame or weak. It is face-to-face Self, un-dulled by veils of modern day bubble wrap. Self in unclouded awareness is my only need and desire; the only satisfaction available to me.
Strength and Self are one. Any human choosing Them realizes we are Them. I need not pretend your physical body is necessary to a relationship because we are Them and can never not be One. On the fringes of endurance, I can be Them in body, mind and spirit; as soon as I want only Them. Truly, They are Who we are.
I don’t train for glittering baubles or t-shirts or braggadocio. I train to be Them.