Saturday, June 19, 2010

Self Giving

This morning, I ran back and forth on the levy for 4h20. Temps were between 77 and 88F, good south breeze, sore left heel and inner ankle, wore the Camelbak hydration pack, used 80 oz of Succeed, 2 Gu and 1 S-cap. Today was the first long run where I used two pairs of smart wool socks (trainer's suggestion). I think this idea was an improvement because the padding on top of my foot was thicker.
It was mainly sunny with a deep blue sky. The wildlife was deer, and numerous birds; the Kansas meadow lark, martins nesting under the freeway, and lazy Canadian geese.

Coming home, after eating, I checked the daily blog for the 3,100 mile self transcendence race:

“Those countless days of sun and heat and cool and rain will just become part and parcel of a gigantic embrace… One can hope that the tough cruel days of pain and fatigue will be quickly forgotten but most likely they will not. Aches and pains will haunt them for a long time after. But what should endure are those divine moments in which their hearts rose up and they were no longer bound by the earth or even their own humanity. When they recognized that tantalizing thread that connects us all with the divine. That they see that God himself is ultimately acting in and through them, and through us all… ‛ it came to my mind the reason that I am here is self giving’ ”

Is it self giving for me to do what I do? I ran back and forth thinking today’s ACIM lesson, not understanding it but repeating it, instead of thinking any of my own thoughts:

"With nothing in our hands to which we cling, with lifted hearts and listening minds we pray:
Only salvation can be said to cure.
Speak to us, Father, that we may be healed. "

But now I say, “Salvation is acceptance of our innate holiness.” As I run back and forth, embracing holiness instead of judgment of others, I am self giving. If I run back and forth instead of sitting on a cushion or in a church, so be it. All places are of God. The boring flat levy in some background location in hot humid Missouri is just as holy as the Himalayan cave or religious cloister. To say again, to embrace “my” holiness is to give it to all because we are one.
I will spend the rest of the day gathering myself; and tomorrow do it again.
Well, that is all that ever happens to me on any given day anyway. Self giving really depends on intention, not any actual activities. My intention is to give up the ego thought pattern which judges others; and instead see only holiness. For truly, seeing holiness, I am seeing God.

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