Inventory

Words of Jesus from ACIM:

• The Holy Spirit is the idea of healing.
• Being the Call for God, it is also the idea of God.
• It is strengthened by being given away.
• Your brother does not have to be aware of the Holy Spirit in himself or in you for this miracle to occur. He may have dissociated the Call for God, just as you have. This dissociation is healed in both of you as you become aware of the Call for God in him, and thus acknowledge Its being.
• See him through the Holy Spirit in his mind, and you will recognize Him in yours.

I talked with Jesus this morning. I want to see the Holy in my brothers; but I am very aware of how my ego consciousness actually hates them, totally. I am aware that there are hidden areas inside my consciousness where the ego sits with loaded guns, ready to fire away. As I entered meditation, I asked for help with these defensive areas. As I tried to meditate, the list bubbled up. I wrote down many names and things. I would try to stick the knife in several people's backs. I fear my unexpected hair trigger reactions.

Now, this is exactly why I am so enamored with ACIM. It is the only place where I hope to grow and heal out of my defenses. Going to daily Catholic Mass (for several years) didn't do it. The ACIM principles are completely different than standard denominational Christianity. I have help from Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have Atonement. I have a practice of Christ Vision and forgiveness to use with others.

But, in ACIM physical bodies are illusions and don't matter except as learning devices. So, to practice ACIM, I don't have to join the group. My life will never be devoid of people, so I don't mean totally getting away from others. I just mean that I don't have to join your church or ministry in order to practice. This is a good thing. Almost no church goers are interested in the spiritual life and no ACIM church would be different. In fact, the ideas in ACIM about creation, Jesus, the body, and sin are so radical that hardly anyone wants to accept them. Hardly anyone dedicates themselves to deep studying and practice. So, I don't want to join a church where all these fakers are grouped and in my face.

Obviously, I have more healing to do. Don't think my hate is worse than yours. I've just uncovered my so I can see it.