Clear and Free

Today I begin 5 days off work; the longest since last November.

I was just reading something about silence. The thought struck me that I don't need to pursue silence for what other people say. Somehow, this is bound up in my freedom from dogmatic self transcendence or an extension. I can pursue silence on my own terms. I am free of what other gurus and religious people have said about it.

My path to enlightenment is now my own. It harbors no jealousy or resentment. It can look however it looks.

So my 5 day retreat: begins with exercise and packing. Tomorrow, it will have a visit with my foot doctor and a drive to San Antonio and most likely dinner with a new friend. Then, Thursday is a marathon and a drive back to Houston. Then ear plugs so I don't have to listen to explosions.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday are more exercise and AA meetings.

If anything is achieved, it is in the little encounters.

I always expected God to speak in the silence. And He does, but not as I expect; that's why I miss it.

If I was in the monastery still, I'd spend the 4th holiday sitting on the porch and eating pizza and ice cream. My personal choice as a free person is to go in a marathon. I totally prefer marathoning to sitting on the porch eating. I suppose many people will spend the 4th sitting and eating and drinking. I am free of that.

This morning, I got in my wonderful run in El Lago. This evening, I got in an hour on the elliptical.

I get to sit and think without anyone telling me what is right or wrong.