Growing a Year

I have a persistent notion that if I could just go far enough or long enough or quietly enough, I could find God consciousness.

And so every month and year, I build this chart. The blue is the hours of workout. The red is miles. I have internal measurements which I strive for.

One reason I don't taper for races (and consequently hardly ever "race") is that the taper reduces the hours and miles. I'd rather have 80 hours and 250 miles a month  than a fast race time.

Day by day, slowly but surely, each month is formed, grown and then past. Another month starts.

This exercise is actually pointless. It is just something I like to do. Like endurance runs, who cares but me.

I do not understand life at all. I've sought for spiritual depth. When I was young, I tried to find a husband. I spent most of my career saying I don't want to live in Houston. But I really like it here. This week, I spent some time on top of one of our units. I could see miles and miles of chemical plants. I love this sight.

This morning, I wanted to give my feet a break from running on concrete. So I did my workout indoors on my ex-machines. I had a great time. I had ear plugs in my ears and I turned my thoughts to A Course in Miracles. I could shut my eyes some of the time. The Versa Climber is especially a great machine for working the body endlessly.

I don't have to find God consciousness. It is quietly there all the time. I just remember it.