What if....

....you knew and understood that everything you thought and felt about life was based on brain chemistry which had evolved primarily in primitive and tribal man?

What if, as a modern person, you decided to buck the trend of these powerful chemical reactions which fire every time you do something against society, the tribe? You'd feel fear. But that fear would not make logical sense to you. What if you also didn't participate in tribal behaviors designed to trigger certain chemical reactions in the brain which brought about bonding, obedience, pleasure, a sense of divine presence. And you also didn't eat a number of commonly used chemicals now found in our foods.

Now, you have decided consciously to NOT obey your fear and get back in the group. You have decided to continue the contradictory behaviors and try new ones as they seem to come up.

You finally realize that your world is different than the norm. You have made yourself into a sort of antagonist of society; but you behave well enough to appear somewhat normal. Not responding to the ancient fear emotions is difficult and perhaps triggers depression from time to time. Going against supposedly hard wired brain chemical reactions which produce difficult emotions, foregoing the offered pleasurable emotions of society, denying emotions power over your behavior and choices; if done long enough, the world slowly becomes a different place for you. You think differently. God does not seem the same. You have re-wired a few connections in the brain.

And so you keep up the not-going-along. Your body becomes composed of different energy. Love becomes the one emotion you freely engage because for you, it has no selfish focus. You go through each day as an act of service: smiling at others, helping them, laughing and listening to their conversations. And at night, you go home to silence. silence becomes just fine with you.