Friday, July 8, 2011

The Task- Approval

I've heard it so often, "You shouldn't care what other people think." And logically, I agree; but that doesn't stop my fears from rising and ego thoughts going crazy whenever I do something against the authorities in my life.

This one lesson, trust Soul, could be the most important lesson of my life.

I frequently go against the grain of society. When it happens at work, I have a ton of emotional stress. Stepping outside the box at work is so frightening. Spiritually speaking, its rubber meeting the road: do I practice metaphysics or do I believe and react to the fear. Do I allow fear to define the boundaries of my life or not?

To thine own self be true, or thou canst be true to no man.

I was asked to be the head of a charitable fund raising campaign at work. This sucker is a big deal and it speaks well for my reputation that I was asked to be in charge. But I have secretly hated that charitable organization for my entire 30 year career, and the annual corporate arm twisting to give so the corporation can meet its goal.

I would do a horrible job. I can't take on a task I don't believe in just to further my career. So I said no. Saying no is the wrong answer in relation to corporate politics and the future of potential advancement. I shot myself in the foot in this regard.

Spiritually speaking, I need to learn that this world is an illusion and I can't be hurt by anything. In terms of ego deflation, it is very hard to go against my ego's rule of pleasing authorities. I have decided to stop living in fear. But that means I need to learn the lessons I've asked for in order to end the fearful life.

To thine own self be true, or thou canst be true to no man.

The principles of metaphysics which I am trying to learn often put me at odds with ordinary society. And I am afraid to be found out by the people of the world. My decision to be a scholar and an athlete puts me at odds with career advancement because the corporation does not get first place in my life. And, boy do I feel fear over these things. But I need to be able to stand my ground. Fear is not real. Fear is a brain chemistry function, not truth. My perception and interpretation for why I think I should be afraid isn't truth. I need to be able to stand in my truth.

This is so hard for me.

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