Self Transcendence does not stop. It does not wait.
Yesterday, I was thinking how many of my mental conversations are somehow "at" my boss; as if he was God or something. Once aware of this, I could see it pop up over and over. It makes me sick to think I am living my life in front of that guy as if he was a mirror. How do I have a different consciousness?
Then when I was running today, other people at work we popping into my mental dialog, including my various emotions towards each one of them. Contrast that to my morning meditation which had been a reading from Paul Brunton about how the body and its feeling sense is no different that this pen I am using to write. The explanation of how we project things was so clear, I momentarily completely understood how thoughts create reality, and reality is an illusion.
Trouble is, I just can't go about the physical world with that awareness. Today, while running I was in a small tree covered park. I could look forward from time to time and just be conscious. Running these little laps, I had no need of time or space. I could just be; until some person from work popped back into my mind.
Is self transcendence having some different consciousness? Or is it just being at peace. The more I seem to grow spiritually, the less I have of concrete explanations of what it is exactly. I want to be spiritual, but from a sub-atomic-physics and a neuro-science point of view, there is nothing.