I read this today in Brunton book VI: "First the ego is only an accumulation of memories and a series of cravings, that is, thought; it is a fictitious entity. Second, the thinking activity can come to an end in stillness. Third, Grace, the radiation of the Power beyond man, is ever-shining and ever-present. If we let the mind become deeply still and deeply observant of the ego's self-preserving instinct, we open the door to Grace, which then lovingly swallows us."
So, that is beautiful. Is it not obvious that I would seek God if I thought I would achieve feeling loved? Well, it doesn't say I'll feel loved. It says I'll be swallowed by love. This really means relinquishment of the ego. I still say yes, but it is not so easily accomplished.
And there must be a higher Power for any of this to happen. I am still reliant on faith in that area.
Do I believe that I have help?
I think I'll go work out in my living room and ponder these things.