Sunday, October 2, 2011

No Rewards

Silence does not bring satisfaction of the dopamine reward cycle. Normal consciousness relies on the dopamine reward cycle for everything. Is it possible for a human to free them self of the dopamine reward cycle?

Maybe some of those monks have achieved it. Not the ones seeking enlightenment; because I believe that the enlightenment experience is an overdose of dopamine, if it does not produce lasting changes in life. In the monastery I lived in, competition and position and severe ego pain reigned among those sisters still mentally alive. Among those of dead consciousness, enclosure in religion was solace for the pain.

There is a higher consciousness than dopamine. But the ego does not want it because it does not bring the dopamine reward feeling. It brings inner peace.

There is no trick to finding this higher consciousness. One must want it and be willing to turn to it, instead of ego rewards. Everyone is equal in this ability. No one need find a guru or live in a monastery or belong to a certain religion or be saved by Jesus.

I keep up this practice. This turning to my inner being is what keeps me from going insane. See, other people are involved in the course of my life. The best I can do is let go. I can't afford the negative thoughts tinged with resentment and fear. I can only afford turning inward and seeking silence.

It is a beautiful day outside. I think I will load up the Nathan and go for an urban hike. I'm too lazy to drive to a park, or don't want to spend the 20 minutes on driving there.

I have mentioned I am entered in a 50 mile race next Saturday night. Well, if it is raining I might not go. But it is yet one more opportunity to patiently plod along for an ungodly long time, through the Kansas night. Accomplishing 50 miles, but also accomplishing nothing. See, I'll collect my finisher's medal; then get in the car and go home. Then move on to whatever is next. Running love is in the daily, not the races. Races only feed the ego. The daily is where my value is gained.

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