These are areas of my life, pieces of which I am made. I must work for a living. I'm good at what I do and well paid. I must study spiritual books and practice inner listening. I must be an athlete because it exercises character traits I wouldn't otherwise have. I absolutely will not eat meat or drink alcohol for spiritual reasons.
I am made of endurance, perseverance, hope, love, care.
I want to do more with my life; but not kill myself. I have no career ambition other than making money. I've reached the edge of running. I can't do any more. I'm in a spiritual desert; beyond where emotions influence my belief in God. I don't at all want to join ordinary society. So I don't know what "something more" is. I can't plan it. I can only pray for it.