Yes, I find myself in rebellion. I find myself suddenly seeing something that is hinted at, pushed upon the unsuspecting seeker.
The right brain is the good wholistic side of the brain.The left side is the evil ego side which is ruining my life, the world and spirituality.
Its most definitely an ego response to be pissed about this. It is a good thing that I allow my ego to be pissed about years of deflation activities and teachings.
On the other hand, it is true that when my ego gets too big for its britches, some deflating event occurs. In this way, neither side ever gets permanent control. The sides remain in permanent conflict too. I guess this is what is hard about being conscious for me. I feel the conflict, but can only ride it out. Maybe some day a higher power will tip the scales and the good right brain will win. This has happened to others. For me? Just give the left some dopamine experiences. Just give the right some noradrenaline experiences. Then all is well.
This morning, I had a totally pleasant 5 hours of endorphins. I was in a very hilly park, but it was away from cars and almost totally trees.