My Sick Mind

Today, as usual, I went running. I wanted to run on the levy; thinking I could run where there wasn't much snow and more or less zone out for a few hours. But I found that the wind had blown foot tall drifts every 4 or 5 feet. Crunching through drifts is hard work and tedious running. After 2h15, I abruptly became disinterested and headed for the car, finishing my workout on the ex-machines.

After 40 min on the treadmill and 28 min on the nordic track, I had a startling relevation about the series of thoughts which had been in my mind. I was even astounded to see that this entire years of blogs is intent on one thing: selling you on the idea that I am spiritual, loved by God, and living a very interesting and worthwhile life while your life is stupid, unconscious and worldly.

It feels good to realize how sick my thinking is. and Jesus gives me a way out. If I admit the truth, he shines away the darkness with his light. Truly, I don't want to leave such insidious egotism festering in my sub-conscious.

In chapter 8 of A Course in Miracles text. Jesus makes some astounding offerings. Do I want what he offers? Jesus practically begs us to join him.

• "I am come as a light into a world that does deny itself everything...
• I said that I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. That is why I am the light of the world. If I am with you in the loneliness of the world, the loneliness is gone...
• If my light goes with you everywhere, you shine it away with me...
• If you will accept the fact that I am with you, you are denying the world and accepting God...
• My will is His, and your decision to hear me is the decision to hear His Voice and abide in His Will...
• If you want to be like me I will help you, knowing that we are alike. If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind...
• I can teach you, but only you can choose to listen to my teaching...
• I will always remember you, and in my remembrance of you lies your remembrance of yourself. In our remembrance of each other lies our remembrance of God...
• Let the Love of God shine upon you by your acceptance of me...
• By joining your mind with mine you are signifying your awareness that the Will of God is one...
• To join with me is to restore His power to you because we are sharing it. I offer you only the recognition of His power in you, but in that lies all truth...
• When you unite with me you are uniting without the ego, because I have renounced the ego in myself ...
• Our union is therefore the way to renounce the ego in you. The truth in both of us is beyond the ego...
• I go before you because I am beyond the ego. Reach, therefore, for my hand because you want to transcend the ego...
• My strength will never be wanting, and if you choose to share it you will do so. I give it willingly and gladly...