Why do people get involved with spirituality?
I began because I felt called by God. No really. In pretty much one day, I went from a person with no interest to a person who thought there might be something to the observed belief in God which I saw in others, plus a desire to know God myself. But that was 30 years ago.
What about now? I want to know God now because I want a consciousness which is not just hate and anger at other people. You do realize that most of us have no consciousness other than figuring out how to supply our own needs without too much bother from others. So if I am going to spend my time on spirituality, then the value I hope to get is a spiritual consciousness, a spiritual awareness which helps me see things differently.
It is hard to remain loyal to the spiritual life if you have no tangible proof that there even is a spirit. It is easier to remain loyal if you are involved in religion. I am sure that St Benedict knew this and that was why he had monasteries. In fact, as I was getting kicked out of the monastery, I was terribly afraid that I would lose Jesus if I left that protected environment.
In the monastery, and in church, we have religion, but not necessarily God.
So after 30 years, what do I have now? I asked myself this question as I was skiing on my Nordic Track this morning. This topic was on my mind because I realize that it is up to my to put the energy into a spiritual program or I won't have one. I have no proof of the existence of God. I don't even have a great testimonial. All I have is a driving urge which has lasted for 30 years; even without the monastery.
So after 30 years, what do I have now? I really do a great job getting along each day. People like and appreciate me. I feel good most of the time.
I make an effort to plan God time every day. I don't want bright lights. I don't want to be saved. I want God consciousness, which I do seem to have if I want it enough to both choose it and work on whatever-in-me-blocks it.
This blog is a very hum-drum account of my spiritual life. I think hum-drum is the best spiritual path because I know for sure my ego would not choose it.