Saturday, May 8, 2010

Unimpressive Simplicity

The Quran came today. The first paragraph is beautiful. I special ordered a leather bound, gilt-edged page, copy of this holy book. I figure that I have bibles bound that way, might as well do the same honors with any other scripture. All holy scripture is about loving God, hearing God and responding with an outpouring of words. In that sense, running is my response to what I heard from God and my response of love.

Today I ran the 5k in 30 minutes. I also ran an additional 2 hours and 50 min for an LSD. My ankle does not seem that bad, but definitely not good either. I have lost touch with reality: what should it feel like? Will it ever feel like that again?

In my life, I am aiming at greater simplicity. The dream of me sitting quietly in a bare room, listening to God, is a dream I’ve had for a long time. This dream fueled my move to a monastery. When I moved to a one bedroom apartment 6 months ago, the dream played a part in that decision. My solitude is part of the dream. My non-participation in society is to achieve the dream. Silence is for communion.

Yesterday, I removed several boxes of books I don’t intend to read again. I continue to simplify my diet. My finances are very simple compared to a year and a half ago (and no, I’m not invested in the market). Clothing is simple. Work is quite complicated and yet each moment is simple: just do the next task. Just produce work. Just lead the meeting.

I am thinking about simplifying my running after my next marathon. I need to continue to work on my weight lifting and core work as meditation. I was recently remembering something Sri Chinmoy said: “The seeker-runner has a shadowless dream of his full realization day in his outer running. The seeker-runner has a sleepless vision of his God’s full Manifestation-Hour in his inner running. Indeed, the soul’s qualities are by far the most important and most powerful qualities we need to manifest in order to run and enjoy a marathon. You know what spiritual disciplines you need to practice to bring those forward. At the same time, running and training towards a goal can in itself be a spiritual discipline. The outer running can remind us of the inner running and be of spiritual value to it."

I wonder where my spiritual life is leading me? Am I quietly slipping into heaven or is there another step change in my future? Love of God is my occupation.

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