Sunday, May 23, 2010

Another Long Run

Today I jog/walked 20 miles in 4:18. My shoulders are sunburned!

There is a running blog called Monumental effort. The title speaks of greatness. The Japanese running monk speaks of holiness. Who am I? Just a girl.

From A Course in Miracles, (ACIM) this morning I read (15.IV.4): "Would you learn how perfect and immaculate is the holy altar (us, the Son of God) on which your Father has placed Himself? This you will recognize in the holy instant, in which you willingly and gladly give over every plan but His."

As I was meditating, I watched plan after plan jump into my mind; and I let them go. As I was running, I thought about the many people who want to know God. Many people say they want my spirituality but I see that they are not willing to focus and spend time on the endeavor. In general, these people don’t have any plans for knowing God, so their saying they wish they knew God is just idle chatter. Most of the church goers don’t know God. Well, I admit that I no longer think church really has much to do with God at all.

Out running, I was again marveling at my new realization of my job here on earth. All I need do is stop thinking my thoughts and hold in my mind a thought of God. And, having practiced that for a little while, I’m getting better at it. But I am relieved most because I have let go of all expectations regarding spiritual achievement. I had read so many books by so called illuminated people, religious authorities and various eastern gurus. But I haven’t achieved the euphoria, I haven’t written a book and my house is not full of disciples. I have nothing wise to say.

But I am a Course student. Inner peace is my goal. This world is an illusion and the books of the gurus are just part of the illusion. Yet if I hold a thought of God in my mind, I am transcended and I have stopped perpetuating the illusion. The end of the illusion means peace is the reality; and that is all I’m doing here.

I am at peace with this idea because it sets me free. I’ve wanted to know God since I was 22! I don’t think God meant to be difficult. I think we humans trained ourselves to think that. If I sit in church, I’ll be taught to wait until the next life or some other worldly reason for why I don’t know God.

But when I changed the curriculum, I had success. I was taught that God was already here, I just had to let go of my ego toys. Simple right? Well, yes and no.

So, I am a runner. I spent a lot of time on my run realizing that I just love my weekend long runs. I love the endless hours in either freezing cold or sweltering hot. I love the endless hours of repeating my God thought over and over, with no other agenda. Training for speed in order to race fast seems to have slipped off my radar. So, I don’t know any more why I would sign up for a race, except to complete a measured distance and have someone else provide the drinks. I like ultra races because I can go farther than I normally would on my own.

So anyway, that’s where I’m at.

No comments: