Thursday, October 29, 2009

Reflection on My Thoughts

My ACIM workbook lesson today is number 348: “I have no cause for anger or for fear, for You surround me. And in every need that I perceive, Your grace suffices me.”

This echoes the song, “Amazing Grace how sweet the sound..” Or St Paul, “You grace is sufficient for me…” Do I really believe God or Love surrounds me? Not unless I pause and give the idea some space in my head. If I don’t think it, it won’t be true. Then, the matter of Grace and the phrasing given above. My first thought is actually fear: if I need grace doesn’t that mean something is not going my way and I have to settle for grace instead of happiness? Really….this is how I think. Good thing I am aware of what is going on in my own head; conscious of the dirty details. I see the thought. I examine the thought and decide I don’t want it. Now, I can give it to Jesus for correction. I question myself, “Just who, miss spiritual smarty pants, do you think God is? And why do you seek Him if you think He will send problems and expect you to suffer with measly grace?”

The Holy Spirit can give me new thoughts and thus a new world if I will let Him. I have to let go of my judgment, opinion and want something better. Really, it is hard to want what God offers. That fear lurks. We truly think God will send “challenges” to the spiritual seeker. But this is my thought not God’s. I must stop and honestly consider all these worthless thoughts and get some better ones. I want a different world.

So, I mentioned that my lesson was number 348. There are 365 lessons. I have almost completed the workbook for the second time. Amazing that I am willing to commit and carry out the commitment of completing one lesson a day for a year. I never ever even thought to skip a day because I didn't feel like it. Even planning ahead to copy off lessons so I would have them out of town.

I ran 49 minutes this morning. Lightning was all around but I didn't get drenched until the last 5 minutes of the run. It is so refreshing to get out in the air. I love it.

I ate half a jar of peanut butter last night; which was reflected on the scales this morning. big vice: organic creamy no-stir peanut butter.

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