Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Love of God - Juice Fast Day 4

To blog or not to blog. I am low on caffeine, so my mind is very quiet.

Today's ACIM workbook lesson: "I am sustained by the Love of God." The explanation of the lesson encourages us to put all our faith in God, not idols or trivial and insane replacements for the love of God (overeating, TV, money, problems, decorating our bodies, ego pride practices, etc.).

The lesson encourages me to remember the phrase as often as possible. To which I add my desire: I don't want the words to be an empty effort. I want my heart to open and the Love of God to be real.

This lesson works well with my juice fast which is now on day 4. [Once again I repeat: when I juice fast, I get more nutrition that I do when eating whole food because it is concentrated without the fiber. Juice fasting is a powerful health restorative.] On a juice fast, I lose all my little daily props which get me through the day because they are partial anaesthetics. I have none of my mind numbing techniques which help me avoid facing God. Do I believe in God? Do I believe God is love? What is love? Do I want God to love me? Do I think God pretty much doesn't know I exist? This is the desert. Jesus is walking with me.

Today, part of my focus is to touch the inner place where God is, and project that out, seeing that everything is His Presence.

I started this fast thinking that I wanted to detox and rely on God more. I'm going to be 50 on January 12, time for a new outlook on life. I want to find new, "enlightened" ways of being. Last night, I asked Jesus, "Why really am I doing this? In my words, not someone elses." I received these five words:
  • CHANGE - new paradigms of thought and purpose
  • RECEIVING - letting God do everything
  • PEACE - fasting ends the inner fights and wars. Also, today is day 4 of my fast and day 4 of Isreal attacking Gaza.
  • LOVE - That is being love. The last thing most people would think of to do to increase love would be fasting; but somehow, I think love is what Jesus found in the desert.
  • TRUST, FAITH - How foolish does fasting appear to be, but God uses it as an environment for greater reliance on Him.

Today I got up at 3, my usual time for spiritual study and meditation. I went for a run at 4:30. Then I went to WalMart for 4 pears and 2 yams and distilled water. I found a juice recipie for joggers which I will make later (2 pears, 1 yam and 4 oranges).

Now I am at work and drinking distilled water.

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