Guilt

Short of moving to Somalia and dying of starvation, I am guilty of materialism. My only way out is a spiritual breakthru. Since A Course in Miracles directly addresses the issue of guilt and its origin in the ego, I have a viable spiritual path.

This morning, I was studying ACIM. I refreshed something that struck me yesterday:

• For truth is true. What else could ever be, or ever was? This simple lesson holds the key to the dark door that you believe is locked forever. You made this door of nothing, and behind it is nothing. The key is only the light that shines away the shapes and forms and fears of nothing. Accept this key to freedom from the hands of Christ Who gives it to you, that you may join him in the holy task of bringing light.
• The vision of Christ is given the very instant that it is perceived. Where everything is clear, it is all holy. The quietness of its simplicity is so compelling that you will realize it is impossible to deny the simple truth. For there is nothing else. God is everywhere, and his Son is in him with everything. [bold and blue mine]

I had started out this morning feeling like I was lacking my God connection. At least I couldn't seem to find it. I talked to Jesus about this. I realized I was feeling guilty for not knowing God "good enough." The origin of guilt in ACIM is that a tiny mad idea wanted to be special, but God cannot make specialness out of pure Love, so the tiny mad idea left God and Heaven by creating this delusion we call the world. We have since felt guilty for leaving God, whom, we love and Who loves us. The world is our projected guilt. ACIM encourges me to delve into my guilt, feel its pain, give it to Jesus, accept the Holy Spirit's teaching and return to Heaven.

So this morning, I experienced my deep sense of guilt; I called it spiritual performance guilt. Rather than be jealous of other people who are illuminated, or go unconscious and deny the guilt's existence, or get mad at God for not miraculously saving me, I go deep into my mind, became aware of the guilt, and give it to Jesus.

Then, as I meditated on the Truth (God is everywhere and His Son is in Him with everything), the idea "with everything" restored my God connection. I felt my consciousness living in that place, Heaven; where all is peaceful benign light. I held all power (God) in a ball of light, with non-physical hands. I experienced this for no more than a second, but that was enough.

Yesterday, I got new tires for my car. I'm so proud of them. It will snow again tomorrow, so I am now ready. The best part of getting the tires was that an unknown man in a shiny red van gave me a ride to my fellowship meeting while my car was being worked on. He dropped me off and that is all I'll ever see of him. God in a Windstar? Could have been.