Don't lurk at the foot of the cross.
I completely believe that all of us should move on to: the sunlight of the spirit, or heaven or whatever you want to call the resurrection world.
If you practice Lent, practice the idea of being alone with God and having loving conversation.
If you lurk at the foot of the cross, you'll never realize you are not guilty. If you want the sunlight of the Spirit, step into it right now. It is yours. No suffering needed. Accept it.
After all, you get what you project. If it is light, then that is what you get.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
54th Birthday - Reverse Goofy Finisher
Today, I ran a private half marathon in the pouring rain, to finish my 54th birthday weekend.
I made myself a commemorative plaque to hang on my wall. Quite frankly, I sort of like the idea of making my own event and commemorating it. For one thing, its much cheaper. And for another, I can do it when and where I want.
I made myself a commemorative plaque to hang on my wall. Quite frankly, I sort of like the idea of making my own event and commemorating it. For one thing, its much cheaper. And for another, I can do it when and where I want.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Private Marathon - 54th Birthday
Its my birthday!
I suppose I'm a normal athlete. We like to do outrageous things on our birthdays. I told you already about my 5.4 cross training workout. I did that last night.
The rest of the weekend was supposed to involve a Reverse Goofy. That is, if I was in Disney World this weekend, I could run a half marathon today and a full marathon tomorrow; and that is a Goofy. Disney World is really about the last place I'd ever choose to go. But, the idea of doing a private Goofy did surface in my mind since I have good friends doing authentic Goofys.
Today, the marathon portion of my Reverse Goofy was completed. I did really well with run/walk ultra race pace. (13.3 min per mile average including pit stops). Total time including pit stops: 6h02.
Saying I will run a private marathon and actually doing it, are two different things. And just because I know I can keep going for 50k doesn't mean I'll get 42k done today. Largely because my brain often gives up. So I never know. The mental game is crucial.
I ran today with A Course in Miracles lesson: "There is no death. The Son of God is free."
I just kept saying it over and over. I kept my brain right there. Only after 5 hours did I say a prayer: Higher Self, I really want to have a happier dream this year. Since becoming a Course student, I can for sure say that I have been dreaming a happier and happier dream. And when I turn my thoughts over to whatever this Self is, I have a happy day. And this is what I want out of live: non-misery.
Spirituality have been my quest since going to Jerusalem when I was 22. The quest deepened to "Shamelessly follow Jesus" as a result of the Columbine shootings in 1999. The quest deepened again after I got kicked out of the monastery. The first 6 or 7 years after leaving the convent, I tried every possible way to achieve enlightenment. But then, my road swerved and the dogma of enlightenment left me. Now I have been A Course in Miracles student for about 5.5 years. It is not about enlightenment but salvation. Not the denominational Christianity type salvation but true mental freedom salvation.
I talk about spirituality because it is a "piece that cannot be moved" in my life. I have the quest and it is not stopping. Being an athlete is another non-negotiable. Yes, I'm not as fast as 2 years ago, and I do have aches and pains. But the energy of endurance continues to flow.
Tomorrow, I'll finish the Reverse Goofy. Easy peasy. All downhill.
I suppose I'm a normal athlete. We like to do outrageous things on our birthdays. I told you already about my 5.4 cross training workout. I did that last night.
The rest of the weekend was supposed to involve a Reverse Goofy. That is, if I was in Disney World this weekend, I could run a half marathon today and a full marathon tomorrow; and that is a Goofy. Disney World is really about the last place I'd ever choose to go. But, the idea of doing a private Goofy did surface in my mind since I have good friends doing authentic Goofys.
Today, the marathon portion of my Reverse Goofy was completed. I did really well with run/walk ultra race pace. (13.3 min per mile average including pit stops). Total time including pit stops: 6h02.
Saying I will run a private marathon and actually doing it, are two different things. And just because I know I can keep going for 50k doesn't mean I'll get 42k done today. Largely because my brain often gives up. So I never know. The mental game is crucial.
I ran today with A Course in Miracles lesson: "There is no death. The Son of God is free."
I just kept saying it over and over. I kept my brain right there. Only after 5 hours did I say a prayer: Higher Self, I really want to have a happier dream this year. Since becoming a Course student, I can for sure say that I have been dreaming a happier and happier dream. And when I turn my thoughts over to whatever this Self is, I have a happy day. And this is what I want out of live: non-misery.
Spirituality have been my quest since going to Jerusalem when I was 22. The quest deepened to "Shamelessly follow Jesus" as a result of the Columbine shootings in 1999. The quest deepened again after I got kicked out of the monastery. The first 6 or 7 years after leaving the convent, I tried every possible way to achieve enlightenment. But then, my road swerved and the dogma of enlightenment left me. Now I have been A Course in Miracles student for about 5.5 years. It is not about enlightenment but salvation. Not the denominational Christianity type salvation but true mental freedom salvation.
I talk about spirituality because it is a "piece that cannot be moved" in my life. I have the quest and it is not stopping. Being an athlete is another non-negotiable. Yes, I'm not as fast as 2 years ago, and I do have aches and pains. But the energy of endurance continues to flow.
Tomorrow, I'll finish the Reverse Goofy. Easy peasy. All downhill.
Friday, January 11, 2013
54th Birthday Eve
This morning, I finished the text of A Course in Miracles for the eighth time.
And then, I walk jogged on the treadmill while I pondered spiritual phrases. I offered my thoughts to whatever higher self I have. I had to spend 2 hours trying to show a troublesome colleague how to do something and I was afraid I was going to be angry at him. So, my early morning pondering included prayer.
The meeting went extremely well. I believe that when I gave my fears to the higher self in the early morning, that a new reality was created. My day became a happy dream.
I ditched work early as I usually do on Friday.
Coming home, the last book of the Wheel of Time series had arrived. So I have a birthday book. I did slink upstairs to lay on the bed, eat oatmeal cookies and start the book.
But about 4, I came down again to begin my 5.4 Cross Training Workout. 5.4 in honor of my 54 years. The workout involved 5 cross training stations (bike, elliptic, step platform/KB circuit, Versa Climber and Nordic Track). In between 20 minutes at each of these, I did 10 reps of TRX upper body combo, plus 40 swiss ball sit-ups.
Tomorrow, I hope to do a private marathon and on Sunday a private half marathon. This is my private Reverse Goofy.
I did tonights workout in silence, even with ear plugs in. I said spiritual phrases. I wondered about my workout needs, the why of it. Is it just so I can eat cookies? Is it just so I can have a wall covered with medals?
No, I think there is a deeper urge or need. It is a way of life. But I have yearned for infinite endurance almost my whole life. maybe even as a small child on swim team I dreamed of mega numbers of laps. By 13 years of age, I had discovered long distance running. And never quit.
And then, I walk jogged on the treadmill while I pondered spiritual phrases. I offered my thoughts to whatever higher self I have. I had to spend 2 hours trying to show a troublesome colleague how to do something and I was afraid I was going to be angry at him. So, my early morning pondering included prayer.
The meeting went extremely well. I believe that when I gave my fears to the higher self in the early morning, that a new reality was created. My day became a happy dream.
I ditched work early as I usually do on Friday.
Coming home, the last book of the Wheel of Time series had arrived. So I have a birthday book. I did slink upstairs to lay on the bed, eat oatmeal cookies and start the book.
But about 4, I came down again to begin my 5.4 Cross Training Workout. 5.4 in honor of my 54 years. The workout involved 5 cross training stations (bike, elliptic, step platform/KB circuit, Versa Climber and Nordic Track). In between 20 minutes at each of these, I did 10 reps of TRX upper body combo, plus 40 swiss ball sit-ups.
Tomorrow, I hope to do a private marathon and on Sunday a private half marathon. This is my private Reverse Goofy.
I did tonights workout in silence, even with ear plugs in. I said spiritual phrases. I wondered about my workout needs, the why of it. Is it just so I can eat cookies? Is it just so I can have a wall covered with medals?
No, I think there is a deeper urge or need. It is a way of life. But I have yearned for infinite endurance almost my whole life. maybe even as a small child on swim team I dreamed of mega numbers of laps. By 13 years of age, I had discovered long distance running. And never quit.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Pre-54 Reflections
This morning, I pondered A Course in Miracles chapter 31.
And then, while riding my stationary bike, I pondered Miracle principle 33:
Text 31.VI:
You see the flesh or recognize the spirit. There is no compromise between the two. If one is real the other must be false, for what is real denies its opposite. There is no choice in vision but this one. What you decide in this determines all you see and think is real and hold as true. On this one choice does all your world depend, for here have you established what you are, as flesh or spirit in your own belief. If you choose flesh, you never will escape the body as your own reality, for you have chosen that you want it so. But choose the spirit, and all Heaven bends to touch your eyes and bless your holy sight, that you may see the world of flesh no more except to heal and comfort and to bless.
And then, while riding my stationary bike, I pondered Miracle principle 33:
Miracles honor you because you are lovable. They dispel illusions about yourself and perceive the light in you. They thus atone for your errors by freeing you from your nightmares. By releasing your mind from the imprisonment of your illusions, they restore your sanity.
A Course in Miracles often asks that I be silent and listen. I'll hear the Voice for God. This freedom is what I like about the Course. It is mainly giving tools for freedom. Chapter 31 is the last chapter. It means that by my birthday on Saturday, I'll have read the text 8 times.
All I know is I do have far fewer inner turmoil periods and much more inner peace.
On the eve of my birthday, I am doing a 5.4 cross training event. That is, I'll go to each of 5 cross training stations in my house for 20 min plus Turkish Get-ups with Windmill will be the 0.4. In between each station, I'll do a set on the TRX for a total of 54 reps. Cross training stations are: bike, elliptical, step platform/kettle balls, Versa Climber and Nordic Track.
Then on Saturday and Sunday, I'll do my usual miles. If I feel good on Saturday and the weather is ok, I'll try for 26. Then I could do 13 on Sunday and call it a reverse Goofy.
Some people lay around eating and drinking on their birthdays. I'm exactly the opposite.
Lately, I've been getting in more than 2 hours of workout per day (split before work and after work). I get excited about this. I feel a big race growing inside me. Maybe the Prairie Spirit 50 mile race in March will be it. My left heel will always have problems, but it is not bothering me too much right at the moment.
All I know is I do have far fewer inner turmoil periods and much more inner peace.
On the eve of my birthday, I am doing a 5.4 cross training event. That is, I'll go to each of 5 cross training stations in my house for 20 min plus Turkish Get-ups with Windmill will be the 0.4. In between each station, I'll do a set on the TRX for a total of 54 reps. Cross training stations are: bike, elliptical, step platform/kettle balls, Versa Climber and Nordic Track.
Then on Saturday and Sunday, I'll do my usual miles. If I feel good on Saturday and the weather is ok, I'll try for 26. Then I could do 13 on Sunday and call it a reverse Goofy.
Some people lay around eating and drinking on their birthdays. I'm exactly the opposite.
Lately, I've been getting in more than 2 hours of workout per day (split before work and after work). I get excited about this. I feel a big race growing inside me. Maybe the Prairie Spirit 50 mile race in March will be it. My left heel will always have problems, but it is not bothering me too much right at the moment.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Listening To The Call
Long ago, I went to university, a school of engineering, and I became and engineer. Then, years later, I desired to shamelessly follow Jesus and live a life of prayer. I entered a Benedictine monastery, a school for the Lord's service. The monastery gave me tools of contemplation and prayer. These tools have stuck with me just as much as engineering. I didn't stay at the Benedictine school to teach. I finished my novitiate and moved on to be a journeyman of sorts.
After a strange and sudden ejection from the monastery, I re-entered secular life. I spent a couple of years as a Roman Catholic. During this time, I realized that the Church was not an institution I could support with my personal moral fibers. I also came to believe that denominational Christianity was doing very little in helping people realize their true Christ nature. No one was "doing the things he did."
I continued to investigate various ideas: meditation, raw foods, fasting, Essenes, hermits; and eventually A Course in Miracles. Somehow, this Course has became my area of spiritual specialization post graduating from the school for the Lord's service.
I have spent a great deal of time being upset that 4 years of monastic life divorced me from society. I simply can't join with the normal societal flow of eating and drinking and watching TV and gabbing away about nothing. But it is also true that I can only hear one voice at a time. If I want to hear The Voice for God, then I must stop listening to the voice of the world.
This does not at all mean I hate the other people. I just can't participate in their world. I can look with the Christ Vision given by the Voice for God; and accept its peace at any time. This practice is what I am doing out here. When I look with Christ vision, I am projecting peace; and this is all The Spirit asks of me.
Inspired by Chapter 31.I of the ACIM text:
Hear not the call for pain within yourself.
But listen rather to the deeper call
of love which asks in quiet for peace and love.
And all the world will give you peace and joy.
2012 has turned to 2013.
I am about to turn from 53 to 54.
I run another mile. I drive another mile.
I work another day. Another dollar is deposited into my account.
In spiritual dollars, I am rich. That is enough for me.
After a strange and sudden ejection from the monastery, I re-entered secular life. I spent a couple of years as a Roman Catholic. During this time, I realized that the Church was not an institution I could support with my personal moral fibers. I also came to believe that denominational Christianity was doing very little in helping people realize their true Christ nature. No one was "doing the things he did."
I continued to investigate various ideas: meditation, raw foods, fasting, Essenes, hermits; and eventually A Course in Miracles. Somehow, this Course has became my area of spiritual specialization post graduating from the school for the Lord's service.
I have spent a great deal of time being upset that 4 years of monastic life divorced me from society. I simply can't join with the normal societal flow of eating and drinking and watching TV and gabbing away about nothing. But it is also true that I can only hear one voice at a time. If I want to hear The Voice for God, then I must stop listening to the voice of the world.
This does not at all mean I hate the other people. I just can't participate in their world. I can look with the Christ Vision given by the Voice for God; and accept its peace at any time. This practice is what I am doing out here. When I look with Christ vision, I am projecting peace; and this is all The Spirit asks of me.
Inspired by Chapter 31.I of the ACIM text:
Hear not the call for pain within yourself.
But listen rather to the deeper call
of love which asks in quiet for peace and love.
And all the world will give you peace and joy.
2012 has turned to 2013.
I am about to turn from 53 to 54.
I run another mile. I drive another mile.
I work another day. Another dollar is deposited into my account.
In spiritual dollars, I am rich. That is enough for me.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Small Beginnings
New Years Day - I slept late, til 8 am. Not because I stayed up late but because I was tired.
I spent my New Years evening watching U-Tube videos of people doing Turkish Getups with Kettlebells. This is my new fitness fanaticism. I can barely do a Turkish Getup with no kettlebell let alone 5 lbs. But I am going to work on it every day up until March 22 when I fly off to a race in Missouri.
Today I had a two part workout which left me feeling fabulous. First a high intensity cross training session for 75 min. Then 2 hours doing laps around Brummerhop Park. While in Brummerhop park, I mentally ripped the 2012 page out of my world. Now, today is just today. Start over. Keep going.
Here are small beginnings:
I've been in Texas a year. It was a year of transition. It is possible that it was the best year of my life.
I spent my New Years evening watching U-Tube videos of people doing Turkish Getups with Kettlebells. This is my new fitness fanaticism. I can barely do a Turkish Getup with no kettlebell let alone 5 lbs. But I am going to work on it every day up until March 22 when I fly off to a race in Missouri.
Today I had a two part workout which left me feeling fabulous. First a high intensity cross training session for 75 min. Then 2 hours doing laps around Brummerhop Park. While in Brummerhop park, I mentally ripped the 2012 page out of my world. Now, today is just today. Start over. Keep going.
Here are small beginnings:
In 12 months, I hope it looks similar to this:
I've been in Texas a year. It was a year of transition. It is possible that it was the best year of my life.
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