One of the things that has bugged since leaving the monastery is whether I can be a mystic if I have a job and live in the world. See, I went to a monastery because I believed that you had to in order to achieve the necessary environment and teaching which would make a mystic.
The people who write books about enlightenment and mysticism are usually people who are able to achieve a life outside the work-a-day world.
Sort of like, if you were called to be a mystic then you'd have succeeded at monastic living and have a teacher. If you have a job, you weren't called and God won't come to you. This worry about God is a false teaching and can't be true.
Living in a world of people who have not placed any priority on spirituality does lead one to think that only monks could be successful.
I am not able to talk face to face with anyone about mysticism. This means that instead, I am talking about work or running. So people think that these are whats important to me. But not so. Being a private mystic makes it less "real" because there is no ego validation.
Monastic or not, I feel my first priority in life is spiritual
growth, connection with that mentality beyond my worldly consciousness (mysticism).
And I am so dedicated regardless of whether my job hinders the
relationship or not.
My life is my dream. I can change the God rules in my dream. In my dream, God just is with is. No need to a drastic mental or physical circumstance. Only thinking I can't hurts me.It is highly likely that all I've learned about God from society and religion isn't helpful. I have a second hand God.
The real God would just be......
Truly, the relationship is there whenever I remember it is there; any brief moment of remembrance and boom, there it is.
I have to put some active conscious priority on my desire for God.