Achievement

Yesterday, I was talking to a lady who runs 60 to 70 marathons a year. There was a man in the race who has run 250 and another lady who has run 350.

I've been a runner for 40 years. It has never crossed my mind to focus on that many marathons; or even keep track of how many I have run beyond the past year or two.

I was realizing the human propensity for raising the bar on ourselves. Nothing is ever enough for us. Bucking this trend is part of my spiritual program. My life is not based on achieving higher numbers. So after my marathon, I return to metaphysics. What was I creating in that day with those people. The man who ran 250 marathons is also a preacher. He managed to give our little group of runners a 2 minute sermon about Samuel which was interesting and not mention Jesus Christ at all.

Today I run/walked 18 miles. This run was on top of yesterday's 26 mile race. I could feel the tiredness after about the first hour. I didn't plan to go more than 13 miles, but I wasn't able to stop myself. Give me some water and a couple of Clif Shots and not much pain and there is no telling how long I'll go.

After 17 miles, I realized: there is no chain, no end.

This evening I went to an AA meeting. It was a birthday meeting so 2 people told their stories. Other people have such dramatic stories. I don't really like listening to them. But just sitting in the meeting gave me the humility to be grateful for sobriety.

I am no longer jealous of people who had gurus, who had magnificent spiritual teachers, who channelled wisdom,  or  had supernatural help. I've come to believe in my inner Teacher. My moment of clarity came yesterday. I was thinking about a Course in Miracles. If I project this dream of a world, then I also projected the course into my life. In a sense, I created it and my Teacher speaks through it.

The dream of my life does keep getting better. I don't really know why I had to move to Texas. But I feel this place embracing me. Even as I meet the same people at races, I know I'm becoming Texan. I don't think I ever was a mid-westerner, or felt like Missouri wanted me. I know that I am a 60s style Californian. But I see that it goes ok with Texans.