Ideals

I am cursed with high ideals. I am forever striving for perfection of thinking. For this, I watch my thoughts. I still pursue the perfect silence, the perfect running adventure, the perfect Process Hazard Analysis.

In 2006, I first heard of the 3,100 mile Self Transcendence Race (Sri Chinmoy). At that time, the idea that I could run an ultra seemed possible. After several ultras, now 2011, I'm about to go in my first multi-day. This is a dream come true. I'm in the airport headed to Silverton Colorado for a 3 day race.

Do you have any idea what strength of character it takes to train more than 20 hours a week while working a full time job? To figure out how to run 70 or 80 miles a week. To figure out how to do 6 hour runs when the overnight low is 85F and it will be too hot to run by 11 am. To watch your diet each and every meal of each and every day.

The underlying reason is ego deflation. I don't let my ego control my life. I train my ego to support my life.

Honestly, I see no purpose for human life except: if there is a God then living a consciousness of love absorbs me into that God, beyond this world. But, I don't have a consciousness of love. I have a process to obtain the consciousness of love.

Yesterday I spoke with a Hindu at work. He believes he only has a few life times left.