Meaning

Outside of society, my life has no meaning. I, in particular, have no meaning. Society is my ego's world, my ego's framework for existence. So if I leave society, my ego has a tremendous difficulty existing.

But beyond the ego world is spirit and light. I exist in this world as soon as I leave the ego world. It is not necessary for me as a spirit to have meaning. Spirit's don't need meaning. They just exist in peace.

In so far as my mind is at peace, I am existing as spirit. In so far as I see spirit in you instead of the ego's meaning, you have joined me in spirit. So if I leave society, I do not leave you.

Once we all know we are spirit and let the ego fall, the world will disappear.

I do not need my ego. But as soon as I attempt to live without it, it, ego, attempts to disrupt my peace so I will go back to thinking I need ego. Taking power from my ego and investing it in peace is difficult, especially if mixed with doubts or desires for what the ego gives ("meaning").

In my monastic life and in my post-monastic life, I have piece by piece been taking apart my involvement in society, leaving my ego with less and less. I want to know I am spirit. I want to be spirit. And so I invest in peace.