Saturday, August 7, 2010

Running from the Heart

My lesson today is 189: I feel the Love of God within me now.

It’s the weekend. I am not excited about what I am going to do but about the not-doing of two days off. No, I don’t have a list of entertainments for the weekend. No, most of what people do not only ignores His Presence, but demeans the magnificence of the part of the mind which knows God.

And so I lay back and close my eyes. I reach out with some part of my mind which knows God. And everything stops.

I can barely drag myself away from the idea of God. I gulp. I shudder. I am quiet. I walk the quiet way. Maybe I jog the quiet way, but God is in the silence, the benign nothingness of peace.

Working out on my machines this morning, I thought, “God has no agenda. He merely is.”

Here are some excerpts from the lesson: "There is a light in you the world can not perceive…. Be still, and lay aside all thoughts of what you are and what God is… come with wholly empty hands unto your God…. Your part is simply to allow all obstacles that you have interposed between the Son and God the Father to be quietly removed forever…. The way to reach Him is merely to let Him be."

After an hour on the machines, I went to the park for running (17 miles). The park is full of “regulars.” Mainly we don’t talk. We nod or slightly wave as we pass each other. Today, we were all sweating.

I was thinking about my relationships with others. I don’t keep any close friends because I don’t have much to share about my life and don’t have a long term interest in anyone else’s life. I feel so false after most conversations because it is necessary to communicate about things and doings on the physical plane; and not only unnecessary but impossible to discuss the metaphysical plane. So conversations leave me feeling like an actor who played a part, but it wasn’t really who I am inside. That’s why I don’t bother to get together much. I just don’t need to talk and feel like a faker if I do talk.

Quietly, I can look at others and appreciate their heart. Everyone’s heart is the Heart of God and It is One Heart. I don’t like to leave the consciousness of Heart to relate on the worldly plane. I know how to be a friend and play nice; but I don’t like the way it leaves me feeling. But when I quietly see Heart, I always feel like I related to Truth. I feel genuine about relating to Truth.

I just can’t stand it when a conversation about running from the worldly perspective leaves me feeling like I just pimped my True Love. Yet, it is almost the only way I communicate with others.

I work out and go running in order to appreciate Heart. I do not “train” to achieve exterior goals. To train for a goal is to subordinate your heart to your ego. To train from your heart is to manifest the power of Love and Source. Training for a goal is to put the cart before the horse, to approach the magnificent from the limits of the physical. Training from the heart puts things in the proper order and also produces results beyond imagination. If you want to fly, you must fly free from the heart and in companionship with Heart.

25 years ago I quit drinking. 7 years ago I got kicked out of the monastery. Now, I am an athlete, a runner, an engineer; all with Heart.

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