Normally my weekends are spent listening to the haranguing of my ego and believing its frightening statements about what a piece of crap I am. This weekend, I spent in gratitude for a realization of my Truth.
The spiritual text I study is of dubious background. It comes NOT with any authorization. The denominational religious and the atheists both are aghast. They ask how I could be so dedicated to such unprovable and outlandish proposals.
Yet I am grateful that yesterday, I took an affirmative action in denying both the ego and the world. I decided that I was going to stop listening to the ego, especially as it attempts to defend or attack based on what others say. I decided to stop these thought attacks and listen only to the Voice of peace which I am able to hear whenever I stop for it.
So I reached a point of extreme buoyant happiness in gratitude for The Course. The Course has helped me with the continuously punishing inner beast, my ego. AND it gives me a way to look at the world which extends spirit into every person and situation I encounter. AND it gives me a way to connect with my hearts desire: that ineffable, intangible, higher order consciousness, present throughout the human mind. It goes by various names: Christ, Atman, Tao, Buddha, etc. It is much squabbled over by those who have never realized it. Those who have realized it merely watch and wait, speaking only to genuine listeners.
This weekend, I was challenged in my dedication by 3 different people. I am astounded at my own newly found confidence in my decision. Without anyone's approval and in the face of disapproval, I know what's best for me and I am doing it. Ultimately, it is my inner being which is deciding what I should study, how I should see things and what I should do. I stand on firm ground, strongly faithful to this inner quiet thinker.
I am the Christ woman. The Christ woman alone, lifting weights in the living room, is the Tao. The Christ woman, eating austere as a way of life, is the Sunnyasa renunciate. The Christ woman, running on the levy and nodding at the other runners, is part of a great Sangha community. The Christ woman at work is distributing aid to the poor. The Christ woman studying her text and reflecting is a deep listener. My life is founded on listening, nothing more.
Ye Ha! Go Girl! I am free!
Listening is my act of love and my way of loving Love. Selah.