Do you ever wake up an realize that your head is screwed on backwards and you have no idea why?
Sometimes, at 6:30 am, you can find me in this place. I'm not sure why but sometimes, I just feel called. I don't go because I believe the Church's teaching about it. This morning, it was a place to get out of myself.
This morning, as I was out running, I had some fighting going on in my mind. I was planning on getting after some places of business and getting my complaints taken care of. Actually, my complaints were just in my mind, just lots of ego yammering. I'm not even sure what got me so stirred up (see below). But, the fighting is a sign of lack of love in my psyche. While I sat in the church, I prayed for the love I needed. Lack of love is a mental idea, not the truth. Noticing it, I realized that I needed a different perspective; a better way. I realize that whats in my mind is not real, but it does color my outlook and emotions. He responded. I just forgot about my complaints which were non-existent anyway.
What have I got to complain about? I just bought one of these (really, I did):
I have never bought anything delux until now. I have to laugh at my ego. This car is annoying because the cup holders are the wrong size. Do you know how upsetting that can be? And how silly? The silliness of what goes on in my brain sometimes is why I seek greater mindfulness. Once I realize what I am thinking about, I have the opportunity to change it.
Suffering and hardship: my private laptop is at the shop getting Windows 7 professionally installed. So I have my work lap top at home. But, there is no free cell on this computer. Dang! Life is so tough. I might have to go to a 12 step meeting and discuss my resentments (not).
I guess I'll go make some fresh juice. The salad I had for supper and the peanut butter for dessert was wonderful.
What a funny blog for me. I am making such fun of myself. I deserve it!