Tuesday, November 4, 2008

This is an old picture that someone put on a forum I participate in. It is of a muslim groom and a christian bride in Beirut, 1983.

For me: The bride is my soul, the beautiful little spirit that I truly am. The groom is my Inner Higher Love, who comes to help me and guide me to Heaven. The destruction of war is what my ego does each and every day.

Psalm 39:
  • ...like a moth you (God) eat away all that is dear to us (our egos); truly everyone is but a puff of wind (our bodies are illusions).
  • We walk about like a shadow, and in vain (egotism) we are in turmoil (fear)...
  • ...my hope is in you (not this world of ego delusion)...

ACIM: "You do not know the meaning of anything you perceive. Not one thought you hold is wholly true. The recognition of this is your firm beginning. You are not misguided; you have accepted no guide at all. Instruction in perception is your great need, for you understand nothing. Recognize this but do not accept it, for understanding is your inheritance. Perceptions are learned, and you are not without a Teacher. Yet your willingness to learn of Him depends on your willingness to question everything you learned of yourself, for you who learned amiss should not be your own teacher."

Yesterday, alot happened at work. Our company is coming down to the wire on a project, and I am in the position of pushing other managers to show "actual" results. Some of our equipment is broken so we are not in environmental compliance. My boss is working on getting an old guy to retire and bless me with doing only environmental work for all our plants (this is a good thing) except maybe I have a job interview at another company.

As I sat at home last night, humility crossed my mind. Then this morning, Psalm 39 and the above portion of the ACIM text helped ground me in humility. I also pondered that picture and felt more humility. I (my ego) destroy peace everyday. Yet, Inner Higher Love will come to be my Teacher every day and lead me to Heaven.

I admit that I do not understand the world. My desire is to listen to my Teacher. I surrender. On the one hand, I try to realize that I am not a body. On the other hand, I fast and detox in order to vibrate at higher levels, to better hear my Teacher.

I live in this little town.

I work at this crummy little company.

I have these physical and emotional defects.

I seek God.

I run.

Silent JOY is the ground of my being. It rests quietly under the raging ego. I can be JOY anytime I remember. I can remember.

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